#86: Mary Anne and Camp BSC

Tagline: Everyone's a happy camper...except Mary Anne!

Cover: A lantern in a hay-filled barn? That seems very unsafe. Who are the kids on the cover? A Rodowsky, or a Hobart? Karen, I think, and some Pikes? Maybe? And why am I not surprised that they have "Camp BSC" T-Shirts.

Plot!: The BSC decides to run a day camp, of course, because that's what they do. But one of the campers, Alicia Gianelli, is having a hard time being separated from her mom, for some reason. Mary Anne sympathizes, because Richard is away on a business trip and she really misses him, and no one understands. Also, there's a camp revolt, because some campers have been to REAL camps and they're unimpressed by the BSC efforts.

Points of interest:

• The book starts with an incredibly laboured 'Pike's Peak/Pikes' Peak' pun at the start at the book. Way to suck us in, AMM.
• Ooh, Stacey quit the BSC to be with her "sophisticated" friends. Neither Mary Anne or Mallory want to talk about it, even to mention it by name. I know she as their friend and all, but really, they wouldn't gossip about it even a bit? Well, maybe not these guys, or at least not Mary Anne. And probably not Kristy, who would be steamed at the affront to the club, and Claudia, who was her closest friend. Maybe Dawn?
  
• Richard announces that thanks to a merger at his firm, he's going to be traveling more, starting with a two-week trip to Cincinatti. Sharon is thrilled, because it means that she and the girls can "bach" it, or be 'bachelor girls.' What an old-fashioned term.
  
• Watson is a real, live millionaire, which is a lot more legal than if Elizabeth had married a real, dead millionaire.
  
• The BSC is worried about the two or three week lag between the end of school and the beginning of real camp, so they decide to host a day camp. As you do.
  
• Mary Anne is semi-judgemental about people sleeping late. I would be in bed right now if I wasn't writing this. I love sleeping.
• Why are Richard and Sharon always so cool with having dozens of kids on their property? With the barn and everything? Supervised by other children? Me, I would be anticipating dozens of lawsuits.
• Kristy decides that the theme of the camp is going to be "Circus," as if it isn't complicated enough.
  
• They don't even try to pretend that the BSC people are graduating out of middle school. It's just "school ended," and they go right back to eighth grade in the fall.
  
• Twenty-two children signed up for BSC camp, including most of the usual BSC Suspects, plus a lot of kids from the Little Sister series.
  
• Mary Anne takes a sidebar to point out that Logan looks really handsome on a bicycle. O...kay?
• I'm pretty sure that Alicia Gianelli goes to nursery school with Andrew, so why is she suddenly so shy and nervous and not wanting to leave her mom? Then again, she is four.
  
• They way that Vanessa Pike rhymes EVERYTHING, I'm wondering if maybe she shouldn't go in for some kind of psych consultation.
  
• Oh, apparently this is the longest that Alicia has ever been separated from her mom. Maybe nursery school comes later? I hate being confused by BSC books.
  
• Mary Anne calls Mal unfeeling because Mal thinks that it's a good idea for Alicia to stay at camp and not cry for her mom. I think Mary Anne needs come counselling, too.
  
• Karen has already been to circus camp, along with every other kid from Stoneybrook Academy. So she declares the BSC camp to be 'babyish' and leads a rebellion. Kristy vs. Karen here is aggrevating; Kristy vs. Karen in the future is the stuff of fanfiction.
  
• After getting rid of Richard, Mary Anne starts feeling lonely and weepy. So Sharon suggests a terrible video night, and they pick out Plan Nine from Outer Space, Girls, Girls, Girls, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
• They watch movies and eat Chinese food and *gasp!* don't clean up the cartons right away. Mary Anne prudes out and goes off to bed, stewing about the fact that Dawn and Sharon are close to each other.
  
• The Camp goes on a day trip to Mrs. Stone's farm, to see Elvira the goat, of course, because a goat is the height of fascination to Stoneybrook (maybe Stacey was right about the club).
  
• Mary Anne says that if she never met Dawn, she never would have discovered three-cheese macaroni, which I call bull on, because macaroni is delicious and anything ith three cheeses in it is not necessarily a health food.
• Mary Anne is waxing nostalgic about macaroni because she misses home cooked food and clean dishes. I'm failing to see what the huge problem is, mostly because my natural state is a lot like their 'baching it' state (maybe because I am a bachelor girl?).
• Mary Anne even brings up the "Maid Mary Anne" situation where she was being taken advantage of, but, proving that BSC members never learn anything, she doesn't actually SAY anything to Dawn and Sharon, about anything, like, "I really miss my Dad and this has taken me by surprise" or "I feel left out because you and Dawn are so close" or "This was fun for a bit but now I really would like the house to be a little neater" or "I think I need some help."
• Claudia deliberately singles out Becca and Carolyn in front of Hannie and Nancy to thank them for being cool kids because they don't complain about the realness of the circus camp. Which seems kind of bitchy and not the mature thing to do.
  
• Mary Anne is surprised by the number of places in Stoneybrook that deliver food. Given that it is allegedly the home of a university, I am not.
  
• When Sharon and Dawn order *gasp!* pizza twice in one week, Mary Anne has. had. enough. She makes herself a hamburger! And cooks it! And participates in a toast, but her heart isn't in it. Take that, freewheeling lifestyle!
• Also, two weeks of nothing but delivery food is going to add up, fast. I'm sure the Schafer/Spiers can afford it, but still.
  
• Camp BSC has a campout and they scare the children with a ghost story and Logan jumping out from behind a stall.
  
• Mary Anne starts worrying that a week might not be enough time to get the house in order for her dad. what did Sharon and Dawn do to the house?
• Mary Anne is in a bike accident, which is a lot funnier than it should be because when it happens she's too busy shouting "Hooray for the day!" No, seriously.
  
• She ends up with a sprained ankle and tearfully begs her father to come home, which he does not, so Mary Anne ends up feeling even more alienated and alone.
  
• She desperately tries to hold on to Alicia Gianelli (remember that plot?), well past the point where Alicia is ready to join the group and have fun.
  
• Finally, Alicia tells Mary Anne that she's ready to move on, because she was missing all the fun. And that's the lightbulb moment for Mary Anne, who realizes that she was missing out on all the fun Sharon and Dawn were having with movies and take-out food and county fairs and drive-in movies.
  
• The dress rehearsal for the circus is terrible, because all the circus purists basically flaked out in the whole preparation department. But they all magically come together in the end and the circus is a success, and that's good because all the parents and grandparents and siblings came to the show, even if they had to get off work early.
  
• Chapter 15 is all about Richard coming home. He tells Mary Anne to loosen up in the future and talk about her feelings, and Mary Anne promises that she will. Until the next time something bothers her, that is.
  

Final Thoughts: This is not Mary Anne at her best. And for all of her seeming obliviousness in this book, Sharon seems like a pretty great step-mother.

#61: Jessi and the Awful Secret

Tagline: Only Jessi knows what's really wrong with Mary.

Cover: Jessi's leg warmers make her loooooong legs look pretty stumpy. The girl in front has lots of attitude...I think she's going to be a star! Also, it is really safe for the kids to be dancing in socks? Bare feet would be better I think? Oh, who knows. Also, Mary isn't even trying to hide the fact that she's pretty zombie-fied.

Plot!: Jessi gets involved with this program to give ballet lessons to underprivileged kids. One of the other students in her ballet class, Mary, is acting strange, and it's because she has anorexia. Jessi is able to get Mme Noelle on her side and convince Mary that she has a problem. Also, Watson gets involved and gives some of the kids scholarships so they continue ballet.

Points to consider:

• AMM thanks a doctor in the opening pages, so you know this is a serious book.
  
• Jessica Ramsey is not actually Jessica Romsey, in case you were wondering.
  
• Mary Bramstedt gets a mention on the first page, so you know she's an important character in this serious book. Also: is that a common spelling? The second T seems superfluous.
  
• Jessi's one of the best dancers in the class. But she's not conceited - she's just truthful. She's one of the first ones volunteer for the six week course for the less privileged.
  
• The other is - duh duh duhhhhhhh: Mary.
  
• There's a lot of retread of everything we learned in Jessi and the Dance School Phantom: ballet is competitive, Carrie is as old as the hills, Lisa is only a so-so dancer.
• Jessi says that Stacey is just as cool as Claudia, and in some cultures, even cooler.
  
• Kristy is avoiding Shannon because she doesn't have any time to hang out with her. So instead of like, telling Shannon to call some other friends (nicely!), Kristy avoids her. Good thing the BSC sets her straight. A little slow on the Great Idea Machine, Kristy.
  
• Jessi cheers when she hears that she doesn't have to wear her outfit, even though previously she said how happy she was to have to wear it. Maybe she changed her mind.
  
• Apparently, Jazzy Jo Dupre and the Fly Boys is a popular group. Or an amalgam of things that were actually popular.
  
• There's a very, very awkward part where Jessi talks about the 'sorrow' of the underprivileged parents.
  
• Hannie calls the bell captain in 'Let's All Come In' the Bill Capstin. I get like, a four year old saying that, but Hannie seems too old for that. Unless it's a leftover joke from when she WAS four years old.
  
• Shannon comes over to the Papadakises while Kristy is sitting. Can't these girls entertain themselves for an afternoon?
  
• Okay. So remember when Kristy was avoiding Shannon? And decided to tell her to talk to other friends and bother them? So Shannon does, and then Kristy feels left out.
  
• Meanwhile, Jessi is so anxious for outside friends that she even agrees to go eat at Burger King with the other volunteers from the Underprivileged Dance Class.
  
• Jessi wears a neon-green leotard and deep blue work out pants with yellow slouch socks. Hot.
  
• Some of the other volunteers, particularly Raul, jump to the conclusion that because the class isn't like the ones they had when they were little, Mme Dupre is racist and classist and doesn't expect anything from the Underprivileged kids. And while tacit racism is a real thing, I think it has more to do with the structure than actual racism. The volunteers were probably in real long-term classes - this is a six week program, where fun is just as if not more important than the actual skills. Also, this is what, the third class? Just because they're not dancing en pointe yet doesn't mean that they're not learning anything. In my early ballet classes, we did a lot of things like skipping in a circle.
  
• Mary pushes her fast food around, hiding it and making it look like she's eating when she's not. Years after I read this (and other tween books - not that they were called that then) the daughter of a friend of my mom's showed textbook signs of anorexia, as described in these books. Her mom already knew about it but she was doing it anyway - and I had to clue my mom in!
• Apparently Jessi has never heard of anorexia...? In the ballet world? Post-Karen Carpenter? Okay.
  
• Stacey reminds us that when she joined the BSC, before she told people about her diabetes, they thought she was anorexic.
  
• Stacey and Sam are in an awkward phase. I really think that they would totally have a fling or something when Stacey is home from university for the summer, when she's a freshman or sophmore and Sam is...well, two years older.
  
• Kristy asks Shannon if she's having problems at home, since she never wants to be there.
  
• I highly doubt that the ballet teachers aren't very aware of what anorexia looks like.
  Especially Mme Noelle.
  
• Jessi asks Aunt Cecelia what she would do if she knew that someone else was hurting themselves, and Aunt Cecelia immediately wants to know if it's drugs. I know she gets a bad rap, but I think Aunt Cecelia can be awesome in her own way.
  
• She also calls Jessi Jessi. I thought she made a point of calling her Jessica. Or maybe that's a way of showing she's mellowed.
  
• Aw, Kristy feels left out, and because of that she's acting like a major jerk. It's like the reverse of Kristy and the Snobs!
• FINALLY, Jessi mentions to Mme Noelle that she's worried about Mary, and Mme Noelle talks to Mary, and the truth comes out. Why do all of these Jessi ballet stories involve someone quitting ballet?
  
• Watson ends up sponsoring a scholarship for two of the underprivileged kids.
  
• Aw. Jessi has a heart to heart with Martha (one of the kids from the class)'s Mom about being black in ballet that leaves them both feeling hopeful. This series is full of so many cringeworthy moments that I forget there are sort of nice ones, too.
  
• Kristy and Shannon make up, and the kids have their final routine, and the two kids with potential get the Watson and Elizabeth Brewer Dance Scholarships, and Mary, off screen, is allegedly getting help. Everyone wins!
  

Final thoughts: I've covered book #59, and now #61, so that means I should get to #60 soon! And it's probably one of my top three favourite BSC books and one of the most snarkworthy, so it should be a good time.

#79: Mary Anne Breaks the Rules

Tagline: Boyfriends and baby-sitting don't mix!

Cover: Mary Anne is looking her mom-iest with a big oversized sweater and mom jeans, helpfully looking on while the boys play. All she needs is plate of rice krispie squares and a pitcher of Tang. Also, I'm not sure that this would have actually happened, because it's pretty clear that whenever Logan comes over she's inside, playing with the girls. Logan looks decent, if way too old to be 13, but poor, poor Jake Kuhn. He's heftier than I think any boy we've seen on a BSC cover, his tongue is sticking out in concentration, and he can't even button his jacket up properly. Also, that is the most awkward attempt at a soccer ball kick I've ever seen.

Plot!: Mary Anne is sitting for the Kuhns (two girls and big brother Jake) in one of those convenient 'lots of sitting for one family' assignments, and she notices Jake is struggling, in sports and life, and is sad that his dad lives far away. So Mary Anne asks Logan to come by and spend some guy time with Jake, which is great, until Mrs. Kuhn finds out and thinks that Mary Anne has been having her boyfriend over for heavy petting and makeout sessions. Mary Anne inexplicably doesn't tell her the real reason, so Mrs. Kuhn threatens to tell everyone in Stoneybrook. Business is slow and the BSC all turns on Mary Anne, but it turns out Mrs. Kuhn didn't tell anyone, Mary Anne tells her the real reason, and everyone ends up in a good place.

Points of Interest:

• Mary Anne starts right away with the foreshadowing: she was happy because not one person was mad at her. Hope she's ready for a whole lot of people to be mad at her!
• She calls her look 'Neat Preppy Casual.' Does everyone have to have a look that's so defined?
• She also likens her Dad and Sharon's relationship to "Beauty and the Beast." Uh...what? Apparently because Sharon tamed him from being so strict. I...guess?
• Page seven: Stacey shares that you "never" get over your parents' divorce. And while this isn't something I know about, at this point her parents have been divorced for, like, a couple months.
  
• There's a lot of talk about how bad it is that Jake's dad moved all the way to Texas. And of course Mary Anne thinks about bicoastal Dawn. But no one ever brings up how Sharon moved to another coast and took her children with her.
  
• Stacey says that Mary Anne is lucky because now she has two parents when she ever only had one. This seems like a really tactless thing to say. What's Mary Anne supposed to say? "Gee, Stacey - one day you could have four! oh, but I'll still only have two, with my mother being dead and all."
  
• Logan offers to strip for the girls (as kind of a joke), and Stacey gets all blushy and stops him. Mary Anne and Mallory, I could see blushing, but Stacey, I'd see her totally encouraging it.
  
• I thought that I had never read this book, but I totally remembered the description of Jessi running toe first.
  
• While Mary Anne is sitting for the Kuhns, Jake comes home after having a fight with Buddy Barrett. He called him Cruddy Carrot and Buddy called Jake Fake Prune. Which is not how I was saying his last name - in my head, I say it like, Kun, but it's more like Koon? Whatever. Where's Claudia with her phonetic spelling when you need her?
  
• The fight was over Cruddy inviting Fake to his mom's wedding, and Fake got upset because he thought Cruddy was rubbing his new stepdad in Fake's face. Which is dumb anyway, because in Here Comes the Bridesmaids, there are no kids at his mom's wedding. This whole convenient fight was for nothing!
• While on a date with Logan, they order a pizza that's half mushrooms, half pepperoni and cheese. Not that I don't love both of those things, but it seems weird to have a pizza that's just mushrooms.
• While on a date, they talk about the Kuhns. These people are waaaaaay too into these kids (and in this case, these adults) and their lives.
  
• Robert and Stacey crash their date, and Stacey is wearing a black double-breasted tuxedo suit with a satiny white tank top. They'd been to Chez Maurice with another couple, but the other guy ordered sweatbreads and that put a damper on the evening. There are just so many unbelieve things here.
  
• While playing a ball game, Nicky is assigned to be on the red team, and starts freaking out because red is a girl's colour. Maybe some shades of it, and definitely compared to blue, but you see a lot of guys wearing red, don't you?
  
• That segues into a subplot about a haunted house that is way too boring. Some kids want it to be gross, others want it scary, so they make two houses and it's just sooooo boring.
  
• The next time Mary Anne sits for the Kuhns, Logan comes over to play with Jake, as they had discussed on their date.
  
• There is a really long (for a BSC book) that's actually a montage of all of the fun times that Logan and Jake have. And then in that same chapter, Mrs. Kuhn comes home early and busts them. This book has so much filler.
  
• Mary Anne doesn't tell Mrs. Kuhn that Logan came over to help Jake, or that she's noticed Jake is a little down. I know - a BSC member who doesn't get all up in the parent's life! Only this time, it might have been more legitimate than Dawn telling Mrs. Barrett to get her shit together.
  
• Mrs. K calls the BSC and talks to Kristy, who then starts picking on Mary Anne for destroying the club's reputation. And Mrs. Kuhn doesn't even threaten to tell other parents! The BSC just jumps to that all by themselves.
  
• Mary Anne has a dream where Mrs. Kuhn comes after her with an axe. Wow.
  
• UGH. Mary Anne asks if the others are mad at her, and they say they're not mad, exactly, but they are concerned. OMG. These girls turn on each other at the drop of a hat!
• There's a description of Shannon "laughing through her nose," derisively. Snob!
• The BSC starts freaking out because noone is calling to book babysitters, and it's Halloween. Maybe the parents are taking an interest in their own children for once!
• Mrs. Kuhn comes to Mary Anne's house and apologizes to her. And while I sympathize with Mary Anne, I don't actually think Mrs. Kuhn has anything to apologize for. She came home and found her baby-sitter with her boyfriend while the kids were there. It was not something they had talked about, and she gave Mary Anne a chance to explain, and then there was a week that passed, and then when she learned the truth she went right to Mary Anne to discuss the situation. Whatever.
  
• At that day's meeting, all the Stoneybrook parents call to book sitters for trick-or-treating. So they didn't show an interest after all, they just didn't get their act together.
  
• Everything is resolved, and there's still two chapters to go.
  
• Those last two chapters are about the haunted houses, which are both successes, or something. Happy ending!
• Okay, I like this part, even though it's totally WTF. Alan Gray helped with the other haunted house, because Vanessa said they needed someone to be gross and disgusting, so Mal said "Call Alan Gray, he's an expert." I like snarky Mal. Also, just imagine how that phone call went.
  

Final thought: even when Mary Anne does break the rules, it's still kind of lame.

#59: Mallory Hates Boys (And Gym)

Tagline: Boys and gym. What a disgusting combination!

Cover: Mallory doesn't actually look too bad, as far as covers go. The uniform isn't hideous, and it's baggy, but I remember when that was in. The guys come off less favourably. Who likes short shorts? That guy out in front likes short shorts. The guy in the back is rocking some sort of mullet, and the guy in the back is oddly proportioned.

Plot: Mallory is having trouble with gym class. It's gone co-ed, and she doesn't get along with her gym teacher, and it's all a big mess. But then it turns out that she's good at archery, so everything works out in the end. Meanwhile, all the guys she knows, including her brothers and the guys in her gym class, are acting like jerks.

Points to consider:

• Mallory just read about the word 'pandemonium,' and now she has a chance to use it in her daily life! Imagine that!
• The rest of the Pikes turn this word into a game: Nicky thinks it's a disease, Claire thinks it's a panda, Vanessa thinks it sounds like dishwashing detergent.
  
• We get another 'Byron-is-different' reminder.
  
• Mrs. Pike asks Mallory to watch Claire while she makes some phone calls. Mallory kind of overreacts and gives us a speech about how her parents take advantage of her. She practically tells her mom to ask her during BSC hours. Also, does Mrs. Pike really need to arrange for care for Claire while she makes some phone calls? Couldn't she just like, I don't know, suggest Claire and Margo play together for while? Or set Claire up with a puzzle or something? It must be an important phone call.
  
• Ben is totally Mark Darcy - he like Mallory just as she is.
  
• Mallory's brothers start pulling pranks and stuff, so they go over to Ben's house, where she eats his chocolate cake. Dirty?
  
• For once, Mallory points out that she and Kristy have the same amount of people in their families but she gets to live in a mansion. Work that indignation, Mallory!
• Logan's mom calls to get a sitter from the BSC, and ends up with...Logan.
  
• Mallory wears a one-piece denim jumpsuit to school.
  
• I hated gym, so I kind of sympathize with Mallory. Kind of.
  
• Heh. On her way to join her team, she suddenly becomes really aware of her arms, and isn't sure how to move them. Do you think 30 Rock writers were secret BSC fans?
  
• By the end of Chapter 3, we have our central theme set up: Mallory hates boys. And gym.
  
• Mrs. Newton gets her hair highlighted.
  
• Mallory gets into a battle of wits with Jamie Newton. And loses. Poor Mallory!
• Between gym class and babysitting, Mallory starts thinking that all boys are pains. And that's enough for her to come up with a theory - boys are pains.
  
• I hated gym, but I was really good in volleyball. At least at an elementary grade level.
  
• At least Mallory has the presence to realize that in the big picture, none of this matters.
  
• At the next game, Mallory benches herself and refuses to play. So she gets detention. Why don't these girls ever TALK to anyone about their problems? I mean, not that it would do any good in this case, but at least it would mean that she would stop coming up with ridiculous plans.
  
• After acknowledging that Ben, the rest of the Hobarts, and Logan aren't jerks like the rest of the guys she knows, Mallory decides that only guys native to Stoneybrook are pains. But what about Logan's brother? He was described as being a pain, too. This theory has flaws.
  
• And then she decides to blame it all on gym. Does Mallory have this poor of a grip on reality in all of the books she narrates?
  
• Mallory commits mail fraud when the detention notices start coming to her house; she hids them from her parents.
  
• Ms. Walden, the gym teacher, tries to talk to Mallory about her problem with gym, but Mallory decides she'd rather take detention. So Ms. Walden has Mallory wash all of the pinneys. And that's what I remember most from this book.
  
• Stacey comes up with a mathematical way to say that Mallory's theory is full of crap.
  
• People are always shooting people a Look in these books. What's with the random capitalization?
• The Pike boys and the Hobart boys (minus Ben) switch places, and Mallory thinks that she'll have a night of peace and quiet. Instead, the boys act wild. There goes your theory, Mal! I can't believe there was a whole book about this.
  
• While over at the Hobarts, Adam discussed the plight of the Zuni people (no, those are not my words), Byron talked about the Pike lending library, and Jordan played piano, and Nicky loved Mr. Hobart's slideshow of Australia. I wish we'd seen those chapters.
  
• Mallory goes to Ms. Walden and asks for extra help in gym. Ms. Walden shoots her down, because she doesn't want to take anyone out of the game. Why would it be during gym class, though? Couldn't it be like, after school? Couldn't someone like Kristy do it?
• Volleyball is over about one class after Mal and Ms. Walden talk. Then it's archery. In the first class, one guy gets his finger sliced open by an arrow...and Mal says she can sympathize, because she's had a paper cut. Uh, what?
• SMS has an archery team?
  
• Anyway, Mallory tries out for it and makes it, and when she gets home the Pikes have a cake for her and it says CONGRADULATIONS. And that messed me up on spelling it for a long time.
  

Final thought: Despite having a lot of the Hobarts, there is a remarkable lack of "Australian" talking (where the writers try to spell out "roit" or "Hoi Melry."

#44: Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Tagline: This was going to be one long night!

Cover: Why the past tense tag line? I have no idea. I've always thought that the curves in Dawn's turtleneck make her look oddly well-developed. I have no idea who any of the kids are supposed to be, except one boy has red hair, so it might be Jackie Rodowsky. I've also always thought that the girl in front had hair that did not match her colouring at all.

Plot!: The Stoneybrook Elementary School kids have Zuni pen pals, kids from a school in New Mexico. Then the Zuni school burns down, and they don't know what to do to help. So Dawn suggests a giant sleepover, that the BSC runs, of course. And it saves the day, or something.

Points to Consider:

• I never had a penpal. Once we randomly wrote to elementary schools as a class project, but no one wrote me back.
  
• The penpals send their school pictures to the Stoneybrook kids. Adam is disappointed because his penpal, Conrad, doesn't look enough like an "Indian." He expected warpaint and headdresses.
  
• Byron is crushed because Jordan used pig latin - their secret language! - with his penpal.
  
• Dawn is practically gushing over Mal, saying how smart and creative and uh, practical she is.
• You might be shocked: Sharon Porter Schafer Spier is NOT Julia Child.
  
• Dawn wants a Zuni pen pal, but she doesn't have one, so she's sad. Then Mary Anne suggests writing to the elementary school and asking about a middle school writing exchange, and Dawn reacts like it's the greatest idea in the history of the world. No, Dawn, just the most obvious.
  
• No, Dawn. Orange stirrup pants do not look "totally cool" on ANYBODY.
• But wait. Dawn, who was so upset that she didn't have a penpal that Mary Anne immediately started asking her what was wrong, then "sort of forgot about it."
  
• Claudia is dressed like Pebbles Flinstone.
  
• Maybe it's just the books I've been reading lately, but there are an awful lot of times when some of the girls are at a meeting and they start giggling about something and then someone walks in and says "What's so funny?" and they all start laughing again, usually with food in their mouth. It's just so FUN being a member of the BSC.
  
• The Zuni school was destroyed in a fire. It was next to a gas station and it exploded and the fire spread.
  
• Dawn tells Richard and Sharon about the fire. Richard's reaction: "Maybe they didn't have a good sprinkler system." If this was a fire at a GAS STATION, I don't know what a sprinkler system could have done...?
  
• Ugh. There's this whole thing where Dawn talks about how poor the Zunis are, but still noble. It probably is coming from a genuine place, but the writing in this section is just cringeworthy.
  
• Mary Anne is reading Tiger Eyes. Maybe there should be a new blog, in addition to What Claudia Wore - What the Baby-Sitters Read.
  
• Why is Claudia always put in charge of sign making?
  
• Charlotte is nervous about her house burning down, especially because she doesn't have an aunt to move in with like her pen pal did. She asks Stacey if she could live with her if her house burned down, and Stacey does this weird, "uh, well, that's, uh, that's really unlikely..." Come on, Stacey! She's your almost sister!
• This books is really boring, and quite a downer.
  
• Aparently, Ray Stuckey is the class clown in Dawn's homeroom class. He makes fun of Dawn for not answering her name, and then bitches that the BSC gets excused to go to SES for an assembly. So Dawn says, "Eat your heart out, Ray." Ooooh, that's like, the worst thing a teen can say to another teen. Um, what?
  
• Wow...the school secretary has a computer! That's something I was not expecting.
  
• Ah, the days when some random adult could just drive students off-campus without a handful of permission slips.
  
• Woman-in-a-position-of-power alert: The SES principal is a woman.
• Everyone acts like Dawn is the second coming for thinking up this great idea, but NOBODY is saying that the emperor has no clothes. Dawn's great idea was a vague "let's do something to send them food and clothes and money." ZOMG - that's...exactly what everyone does when there's a crisis.
  
• There are also Make Way for Ducklings and Freddy the Pig mentions.
  
• The Pikes have a carnival to raise money. The Rodowskys have a yard sale. Both times, BSC members are in charge of it. Where are these people's parents? Is there some kind of underground swingers club that they're all part of? Where's that fanfic?
  
• Kids start donating things that belong to their parents, without asking permission, like book sets, lamps, and fancy suits. Maybe if the parents paid attention once in awhile this wouldn't happen! (Don't worry - I'm not down on all parents. Just the Stoneybrook ones).
  
• Alan Gray apparently has a crush on Kristy. Remember that for when we get to Claudia and the Disaster Date.
  
• It's a big deal that the pizza place doesn't have flour, so they almost have to cancel the order, but then the pizza guy decides to make them with whole wheat flour. I guess that was a big deal back then...?
• One of the songs that they play at the sleepover is "Who built the ark? Noah! Noah!" which is strangely religious for a public elementary school sleepover.
  
• A second Robert McCloskey book is mentioned - what are you doing, Lerangis?
  
• Ms. Besser asks the BSC to stay exactly the same age for a few years (until she has kids to be babysat). Hahahah...ha.
• I don't even want to think of how much it cost to send all of this stuff to the Zunis. Oh, remember the Zunis? The ones whose school burned down? Yeah, we didn't hear too much about them in the middle of the book, as the BSC managed to turn someone else's tragedy into something that was all. about. them.
  

Final thought: Even though like, no one is voting for more Karen/Little Sister recaps, there will definitely be more coming up, because they're shorter and easier to get through. So y'all have that to look forward to.

#33: Claudia and the Great Search

Tagline: Claudia thinks she's adopted, and no one understands.

Cover: I guess that it's like, a rule that practically every cover has to feature baby sitting of some kind, because instead of actually showing Claudia and the Great Search, it's showing her with Emily Michelle. I don't understand why the Brewers would take a couch and place a chair and table in front of it, but I guess when you're rich and you live in - get this - a mansion, you can afford to have impractical furniture. Claudia is rocking a top-pony, but other than that she doesn't look too wild. Big surprise.

Plot!: Claudia starts to believe that she was adopted, and when she can't find any evidence that proves she wasn't, she decides that she was. She looks for her 'birth parents,' but when she tells her parents what she's discovered it turns out she wasn't adopted after all. Meanwhile, she's been helping Emily Michelle with shapes and colours and stuff, because she knows how it is to be behind everyone in terms of learning. Or something. And in minor subplot land, the Papadakis' grandfather has hurt himself so Kristy has a regular job there.

Points of Interest:

• Claudia thinks that Peaches and Russ can't have kids. That kind of makes her later miscarriage even sadder.
  
• I don't understand Janine's taking community college courses while she's still in high school. Do those count as, like, real college courses? So, theoretically, she could get her degree really soon after finishing high school? Huh. I wonder where Janine really would go to school.
  
• Claudia gets to leave early because Janine is getting a prestigious award...on a Monday afternoon. Oookay.
  
• Claudia gets really snarky about Janine's friends, wondering if they get dressed in the morning by closing their eyes and reaching into their closet. Which I'm sure many people think that about her. Also, she gets huffy because they're wearing checks with plaids, and I'm SURE there's one time where she says something about how she likes to break fashion rules like that. Gah. Claudia was never one of my favourite characters.
  
• Claudia says that Kristy has never missed a meeting, which is a total lie, because Kristy missed one when Louie was sick.
• Kristy says that she has news about Emily Michelle, and Claudia says that they try to keep each other up to date on the kids they sit for. Okay, except it's Kristy's FREAKING SISTER. Why are these girls all so coldly detached?
  
• Apparently "me" (pronounced "meh") is Vietnamese for Mommy.
  
• If Claudia had $250 (Janine's award money amount), she would run to Bellair's Department Store and buy a Day-Glo green sweater with charms knitted into it. I think it's a good thing she does not have the $250.00.
  
• Instead, Janine thinks that she'll put the money towards college. She'd better invest it well, because otherwise $250 will cover about the cost of highlighters for her textbooks.
  
• Claudia decides that she's adopted because there are no baby pictures of her, just her, alone.
  
• Claudia discovers that her mom is certified to teach school in Connecticut.
  
• Ugh. Claudia discovers a locked box in her parents' room, and just knows that her adoption papers are in there, and that's why her parents don't love her as much as Janine. Ugh.
  
• Sam and Charlie went to a play at the high school. Really?
  
• David Michael has a cold, so he talks just like Abby and Hunter Bruno when they have allergies.
  
• OH my Lord. Claudia tells Stacey that she thinks she's adopted, and Stacey's advice? Seach for her birth parents. Not anything reasonable, like talk to your parents.
  
• Argh. Dawn gets upset when Emily Michelle puts something in her mouth, and then starts to compare her to other kids they know, like Gabbie Perkins (robo-tot who plays on a FREAKING softball team!) and Marnie, who, really, is not that much more advanced than Emily.
  
• And then Kristy talks about how Emily is different from Karen, Andrew, and David Michael. Okay, except they did not GROW UP IN AN ORPHANAGE UNTIL THEY WERE TWO. The first years, the first year especially, are HUGELY important for babies' development, not just language and motor skills but also emotional growth. Gah.
  Watson and Elizabeth and Nannie need to spend more time with Emily, reading and talking about shapes, letters, and pictures. And less time needs to be spent comparing Emily to other children.
  
• (This is an area that I work in, so I think I'm extra sensitive to how it's portrayed in these books)
• BLGHAH. Claudia says that Emily doesn't seem to be as smart as everyone else in her family, which is bullshit. First of all, she's a toddler. Second of all, see everything I just wrote.
  
• There's an adoption agency in the phone book (so presumably in Stoneybrook, or Stamford, or close) called Love Bundles, and it only specializes in placing Vietnamese children. I guess that's how it usually works, it just seems odd for the area.
  
• Okay, later she opens the Stamford phone book, so Love Bundles is in Stoneybrook. How many adopted Vietnamese children are there in Stoneybrook?
  
• This book is how I learned that you need to have two keys to open a safety deposit box.
  
• Lois Lowry shoutout! Stacey finds a copy of "Find a Stranger, Say Goodbye" at the Perkins' house (o...kay?) and calls Claudia to tell her it's a story about an adopted girl.
  
• FARGH. There is a student volunteer at the library's reference desk. There are SO MANY things wrong with that. If the Stoneybook Public Library is a unionized workplace, there are SO MANY violations. (Libraries are my field too, so I'm just set off by how improbable everything is. Wait until we get to Mary Anne and the Library Mystery if you want to see arghs.)
• Apparently, all birth announcements automatically go to the local paper. I find that hard to believe. Isn't that an incredible invasion of privacy?
• This part makes the least sense of anything. Claudia thinks that one of the other people born the week she was might really be her. So...if this couple was going to give up their daughter for adoption, they still had an (automatic) baby announcement?
  
• Stacey's parents couldn't have any more kids after Stacey. I think I knew that, but it's one of those things that I forget.
  
• There's a random Krushers practice interlude. These books could have used a good editor.
  
• Chapter 13: Stacey finally suggests that Claudia talk to her parents. FINALLY.
  
• Claudia's parents tell her she's not adopted. And they have an explanation for everything: they didn't take pictures because they were busy, Claudia looks like a combination of both of her parents, her birth was announced in the Stoneybrook Gazette, the special locked box has $500 in it (for emergencies). A LIKELY STORY.
  
• In the end, Emily is accepted into preschool for the following fall (too bad she'll be two and a half forever) and Claudia accepts that she's a Kishi by birth and makes tentative peace with Janine. The end.
  

Final Thought: Doing a post a day has really taken it out of me, so I feel like this one isn't as snarky as it could have been. I will try to update more frequently, though, in the future, so stick around for that.

#65: Stacey's Big Crush

Tagline: He's smart. He's handsome. He's 22!

Cover: Stacey is giving us her best "oh, my prince" pose. Wes is smartly oblivious, but way overdressed for a school dance. Jessi is giving her best "girl, please" look, which might be Jessi's most awesome moment ever. Meanwhile, what's happening in the background? Are those streamers, or lights, or what? Where are the balloons falling from? Why does the banner have apostrophes on it? Who is on this decorating committee?

Plot!: Stacey has a crush on Wes, her new student teacher. She gets pretty obsessed with him and is confident she's in love with him (and he's in love with her), but nothing happens because she's THIRTEEN. Dawn and Mary Anne take care of Elvira, a goat, and chaos ensues.

Points of Interest:

• "I knew Mr. Zizmore was giving an oral problem." So that's what the kids are calling it...in 1993.
  
• Stacey calls herself a Divorced Kid and a Latchkey Kid. She's knee deep in a pity party and hasn't even STARTED talking about her diabetes.
  
• Mr. Z tells Stacey that she's his star student. Even though this isn't the big crush, it does have a bit of that about it. Stacey is totally going to have an older man thing as she gets older. Do you think that's because of the divorce?
  
• Stoneybrook Community College has a master's program? A teaching master's program? That...seems strange.
  
• Stacey think that Wesley Ellenburg sounds like the biggest nerd ever. Didn't she learn anything from the time that Kelly dated Marvin Nerdly?
  
• Claudia is Stacey's "one-and-only-best" friend, since she and Laine had a big fight.
  
• Apparently, Stacey and Sam are still "technically" going out, even though they've drifted apart. So is this book after the Shadow Lake? What's the chronology here?
  
• When Mrs. Stone stops by to ask Dawn and Mary Anne to look after her goat, Stacey is not aware that Elvira is not actually a goat, and starts freaking out about things like leaving the two month old alone and feeding her garbage and stuff. Wah-wah....
• Stacey gets really excited about Dawn and Mary Anne taking care of a goat, because she's so sophisticated.
  
• Mr. Ellenberg is compared to Tom Cruise. Okay.
  
• Stacey's dad went to school at Wesleyan. Just in case that comes up in a trivia quiz later.
  
• Okay, so he's completing is B.A., apparently in education, although he just has to do three weeks of student teaching, which does not seem like a lot. So why did Mr. Z it was a master's program?
  
• What's going through Stacey's mind? "Wes. Wild Wes. How the Wes Was Won." Whoa, calm down. Later, she calls him "drop-dead incredibly hunkified gorgeous." Kristy claims there's no such word as 'hunkified.' My spell check agrees.
  
• There's a rumour that Sabrina Bouvier (the middle school student) went out with Mr. Jordan, presumably a student. I HIGHLY doubt that. Maybe she babysat for him or something and someone saw him giving her a ride home.
  
• Stacey spends a lot of time preparing her outfit for math class. Claudia has to tell her that it's not a date. Ugh. Stacey is all kinds of pathetic in this book.
  
• Charlotte has a crusth on Bruce Cominsky, someone we've never heard of before and doubt we ever will again. He sounds...manly. There's also some random girl named Diane Dumschat in her class. That's an unfortunate name.
  
• We also get a lesson that the "whoop" in "big whoop" is like "whoopee," but sarcastic. Thanks, Lerangis.
  
• Wes asks Stacey to stay after school and help him arrange his paperwork, if you know what I mean. And that's where I start disbelieving this book. I'm sure that Wes would be hyper-aware of inapropriate student/teacher relationships and I highly doubt Stacey is being subtle about it - she wanted to wear a ball gown to class!
• Oh my lord. After staying after class to help him with his papers, Stacey announces that she and Wes have a relationship. She is going to be a total bunny boiler when she's older.
  
• Ugh. Elvira unleashes a whole bunch of 'kid' puns.
  
• Oh my lord part two. Stacey starts imagining that she and Wes are goatherds in the Alps. This book is cracked out!
• Wes has Stacey figure out the average grades of everyone in the class. He hides the names, but still. That seems unseemly.
  
• OH MY LORD. Wes drives Stacey to a BSC meeting (in his car!) and on the way there he sings along to a love ballad. INAPPROPRIATE.
  
• So of course, Stacey writes a poem:
  I see two stars in summer's night
  Blinding, hovering, lost in light
  Each so dull in heaven's net
  So each remains as yet unmet
  But Fortune moves in strangest ways
  It lengthens nights, it shortens days
  May this night end and day begin
  And bring two lovers back again.
• Sam calls to invite Stacey to the Spring Fling dance, and even though at the beginning of the book they are technically going out, she tells him she's going with someone else.
  
• HAHAHA Stacey gives Wes the poem. She changes 'lovers' to 'young people' but still. Wes bolts from the room.
  
• The BSC learns the hard way that taking care of a goat is hard work. Gah. Wouldn't they have thought that before? That's how they approach EVERYTHING. "oh, pet sitting will be so much fun! Oh no, it's hard work!" "oh, looking after infants will be so much fun! Oh no, it's hard work!"
• So a week after giving him THE POEM, Stacey corners Wes at the end of math class. He asks if she has a question about the assignment (no), so he asks if she has another poem for him. I laughed out loud.
  
• OH MY LORD INFINITY. She tells Wes that she's in love with him. I am laughing and cringing and it's so awful and I love it.
  
• Sam is going to the Spring Fling with Amanda Martin. Why is this book filled with people we've never heard of before?
  
• Okay, after the whole declaration of love thing, Wes still does things like tell Stacey he's going to miss her....class, and confide in her about a good recommendation. This guy is crazy!
• If the dance is called the Spring Fling, why doesn't the banner say SMS Spring Fling?
• It's never explained why Wes is wearing a tux.
  
• Wes to Stacey: "You're THIRTEEN!" Classic.
  

Final thought: I only skimmed through the Elvira stuff, so I don't know about that, but there's barely any Mallory in this book. Poor Mallory!

#11: Kristy and the Snobs

Tagline: Nobody's going to tell Kristy what t o do - especially not the Snobs!

Cover: Shannon is shorter than Kristy is, which is not the image of Shannon I have in my head at all. Shannon's skirt is distractingly long. And why don't Shannon and Amanda have the same uniform? Don't they both go to Stoneybrook Day School? Maybe there's a primary and middle school difference? When I am wondering about the dress codes of the Stoneybrook school that we know the least about, I know it's time to step away from the computer.

Plot!: Kristy is having a hard time adjusting to being in Watson's neighbourhood, because she thinks the other people in the neighbourhood are snobs. And they're sort of proving her right, because they're mean to Louie, the Thomases sick dog, who eventually dies. But Shannon comes around and gives them Shannon, the dog, and she becomes an Associate member of the BSC!

Points of Interest:

• Things Kristy cannot stand: blood, cabbage, people chewing with their mouths open, squirrels, and snobs. Where's Kristy and the Cabbage Wars or Kristy vs. the Squirrels?
  
• Apparently Watson has been talking about putting in a swimming pool, although that never happens, does it? Too bad - I'm sure there would have been some kind of mystery in the backyard that only the BSC could solve!

• Okay. What's the Brewer-Thomas car situation? In this book, Charlie drives the station wagon, and Watson and Elizabeth both have cars. Does one of these get sold/traded when Charlie gets the Junk Bucket? What about when Nannie moves in? Do they have five cars?
  
• The Thomases' vet? You guessed it, a woman. I never noticed how many professional women there were in these books.
  
• Kristy calls Shannon a snob, and Shannon calls Kristy a jerk. Both of them really escalated this situation pretty quickly.
  
• While babysitting for the Papadakises (for the first time), Shannon calls Kristy and tells her that the house is on fire. That's messed up.
  
• Kristy orders a diaper delivery service to make deliveries to Shannon's house, starting early the next morning. And they show up, presumably without a credit card number or any kind of billing information, unless Kristy billed it to the Kilbournes. There's just something not right about that whole ordering scenario.
• There's a weird moment when Mary Anne is babysitting for the Perkinses, and it switches from "Mary Anne asked" to "I asked," even though Kristy isn't there.
• I still think it's kind of weird that Sharon Schafer would have to call the BSC to arrange for a sitter for Jeff, and the job ends up going to Dawn, because she's free. What if someone else took it? Would that sitter and Dawn just hang out there? I guess Dawn might get another job. It kind of makes sense, but I just find it needlessly official.
  
• Sharon goes out on a date with the Trip-Man.
  
• Jeff is acting up and wants to go back to California and live with his Dad. Dawn is starting to say things like "I'd never do that!"
• Stacey tames the snobs with a little reverse psychology, because she's so sophisticated.
  
• Shannon orders a pizza to the Delaneys while Kristy is sitting there, but Kristy outwits the delivery guy and sends it to Shannon, who storms over and they have a big fight about baby sitting territory but end up being friends. Pizza - is there anything it can't do?
• Five of the Pike kids have the chicken pox. By the time Claudia leaves, seven of them have it, all except Mallory. Poor Mallory?
  
• Kristy misses a meeting because of Louie. I'm sure this contradicts later stuff, like "Kristy never misses a meeting" or "Mary Anne never makes a mistake" (not that she does here, but that's something that also gets tossed around that I'm pretty sure is not true)
• Heh. Kristy calls Lisa "the first Mrs. Brewer," even though she's probably married to Seth Engle by now.
  
• Okay, I'm not a big animal person, and I've never had a pet other than a goldfish, but the part about the family meeting where it's revealed that Louie is going to be put down is pretty freakin' sad.
  
• Okay, I'm not going to lie. I'm at the part where they're at the vet, saying goodbye to Louie, and there are tears in my eyes. Damn you, Ann M. Martin!
• Kristy and Karen get into a big discussion about whether to put RIP or Rest in Peace on Louie's cross. Aaaaand my tears are gone.
  
• Astrid is a girl's name, and it means divine strength. There's your little tidbit for today.
  
• Mary Anne makes an exercise/exorcise pun. Because there's nothing that thirteen year old girls like better than wordplay!
• They make a play for Shannon to join the club, but she kind of shoots them down before they get around to asking, and so becomes an associate member, and we're one more person closer to the classic BSC lineup.

Final Thought: The chicken pox plot is very, very random. It's as if they realized they only had enough story for fourteen chapters, or they hadn't included their obligatory Pike kids reference.

#42: Jessi and the Dance School Phantom

Tagline: Someone - or something - is out to get Jessi!

Cover: I think Jessi actually looks kind of cute on the cover...way better than the fug looks that they usually give her. And if not for her loooong legs, I think she'd even look kind of age appropriate. No, the hot mess on the cover is Dawn, who is in her California Casual denim-on-denim, wearing a strangely obtrusive watch, has her hair pouffed in a way that makes her head look square, and is going for...maybe scared and surprised? But comes out looking stoned. Also, why is Jessi wearing so much jewelry? Rings and a watch? At a ballet practice? I don't think so.

Plot!: Jessi gets the lead in another ballet - Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty. But soon after practices start, she starts getting threatening notes, and someone keeps stealing her stuff. Of course, the BSC handles this on their own (even though Jessi is INJURED by the 'phantom') and while everyone in the class is a suspect, it's eventually narrowed down to Hilary, who is jealous of Jessi and has a pushy stage mom. Meanwhile, the BSC organizes a pet show/competition thing, and I'm really not a pet person so it's even more boring that usual for me.

Points of Interest:

• Ugh. This book starts off in French. Which I don't have a problem with, except that I know Jessi's fake French talking is going to come next. Maybe it's because I grew up taking French in school, but I didn't need her pronounciation guide, and even if I did, the italics indicated that it was in a different language so...whatever, Mademoiselle Romsey.
  
• Jessi talks about being the only black student in the class, and wanting to be a ballerina when there are very few black dancers in general. It always sounds awkward and added-in when the others talk about race, but I think it's good coming from Jessi.
  
• Carrie Steinfeld is so over the hill. It doesn't give her age, but she's about to graduate (from the school? from regular school? I don't know) and she hasn't had any lead roles. Maybe the next school she'd want to be in is like the school in Center Stage, which is kind of a university but more like a ballet school with book props.
  
• This is all happening at an audition for Sleeping Beauty, and they all want to be Princess Aurora.
  
• If Mr. Ramsey works in Stamford, and Jessi's dance school is in Stamford, why didn't the Ramseys just move to Stamford?
  
• Jessi talks about how she likes wearing a uniform, because if there wasn't one there would be too much neon in the class.
  
• The Ramseys are basically the only BSC family that shows affection for each other. Maybe it's because she's eleven, but I think Jessi's family figures into her books more than the other families (well, I guess Mallory is always doing stuff with her family, but because it's so big it's not the same).
  
• SO. The phantom's first move: steal Jessi's toe shoes. But I don't understand how she does it. Jessi puts her bag down and changes out of her clothes. She puts the clothes in her locker and put the tights on. Then, she goes to put the shoes on, and they're not there. Did the phantom move so fast that she took them when Jessi's head was in her sweater? Did Jessi go to the bathroom or something?
  
• Okay, here's anothing thing I don't get (and I HATE being so confused by a BSC book): Mary (the future anorexic girl?) wishes she could lend Jessi her extra shoes, but they're at home, and anyway everyone's toe shoes are different. She describes her breaking-them-in routine, and then says that she needs a new pair of toe shoes every week. Wait, what? Really? Earlier in the book, she said that Hilary gets a new pair of toe shoes whenever she needs them, while the rest of them have to make them last. So does Hilary get a new pair every day or something? Are there any dancers out there that can help me clear this up?
  
• Suspicious behaviour: Hilary suggests everyone look for them again, while Katie Beth finds them in an allegedly empty bag.
  
• Painstaking is a word that I learned (or semi-learned, since I'm not sure exactly what it means but I have a good idea) from the BSC books, but I've never used it or seen it used in real life.
  
• More suspicious behaviour: Carrie keeps plowing into Jessi when they dance. That's...kind of obvious for a phantom.
  
• The phantom's second move is to steal Jessi's entire back up outfit, and leave her a note that says BEWARE and WATCH YOUR STEP.
  
• Jessi is way too excited over the fact that Hannie and Scott Hsu are pretend married.
  
• Kristy babysits for neighbourhood kids and everyone gets competitive about the pet show. Boring.
  
• Jessi slips and falls during a class, and she gets a second note: I TOLD YOU SO. FROM NOW ON, WATCH OUT. This would be a logical time to go to someone, anyone about this stuff, right? Ha hahahahaha. This is the BSC!
• Third note: IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. TOO BAD IT WASN'T. I don't care if it is some teenaged ballerina - this person sounds crazy and needs help.
  
• Jessi won't go to Madame Noelle because she's convinced Madame Noele will think she's making it all up. What? What about her parents?
  
• Mallory sits for the Barretts, and they're fighting over Pow in the pet show. Boring.
  
• Charlie, for some reason, volunteers to drive the BSC to Stamford so the others can be Jessi's bodyguard. Whatever.
  
• They come up with nothing, so there are more phantom activities: Jessi's leotard is returned (but cut up into shreads), she's pushed into paint, someone hides thorns in her dance bag, letters are sent, and a piece of scenery almost lands on her head. Just a normal ballet practice.
  
• The chapters in this book jump around a lot: we're at a dance rehearsal, we're at a BSC meeting, we're at Jessi's house - all in one chapter. It's paced very strangely.
  
• So Jessi confronts Hilary with this stupid plan to get her handwriting and it only works because Hilary does the classic bad guy move of saying to much. She says "sorry, I won't do it again" and Jessi is like, "okay, fine." SERIOUSLY. THIS GIRL NEEDS HELP. SHE TRIED TO HURT YOU. SHE DID HURT YOU. GAH.
  
• The big solution to the pet show problem: giving everyone an award. Why didn't they just think of that sooner? That's like, the first rule of doing something with a large group of kids.
  
• Stacey wears a tuxedo to Jessi's opening night. Because she's sophisticated.
  
• In the dance, Jessi has to perform with a boy! He's an eighth-grader, and he has to lift her and kiss her onstage! Where were those rehearsals? That would have made for a much better story.
• In the end, Hilary decides to quit dance and Jessi goes out for ice cream. Everyone is happy.

Final thought: the picture on the cover never really happens in the book. Which makes me dislike it even more. Sorry, non-fug Jessi.

#43: Stacey's Emergency

Tagline: Stacey just can't win.

Cover: For once, Stacey's hair looks kind of permed, at least near the bottom. The top is kind of flat, but her bangs are happening. I hope Becca is standing on top of of a stool or something, otherwise the perspective is all out of whack.

Plot!: Stacey starts to feel sick because of her diabetes, but she doesn't tell anyone. She goes off her diet and really isn't very well, and then when she's in New York visiting her dad she ends up in the hospital. She confesses how sick she's been and talks to her parents about how they've been putting her in the middle. While she's in the hospital, Charlotte becomes convinced that she's sick, too, but she gets better when Stacey comes home.

Points of Interest:

• The first chapter includes a lot of information on diabetes, just to get us prepped for the rest of the book.
  
• Stacey is still trying to sort out a lot of the divorced kid stuff in this book, like how to talk to her parents and how to deal with the fact that she chose to live in Stoneybrook rather than in New York.
  
• Uh-oh! Stacey steals a Ring-Ding from Claudia's room and puts it in her purse. But what about her diabetes? Won't somebody think of her diabetes?!
  
• The scene of Stacey drinking water on the train by cupping her hands together has stayed with me since the first time I read this book. It's a strange image to remember, but there are random scenes that stick in people's minds.
  
• I know it's partly because it was reaching a critical point, but after spending like, one night with Stacey, her father takes her to the hospital. How was she hiding this so well from her mother? And knowing how nervous her mom is about Stacey's diabetes, it's a wonder her mom doesn't go through her room and stuff.
  
• So Stacey goes to the hospital on Saturday morning, and her mom hears about this on Saturday night? Why did they wait so long to call her? Even if there's post-divorce stuff, that's still a long time, especially because by the time Mr. McGill calls her, she doesn't have enough time to get the last train to New York.
  
• Stacey's mom brings her a stuffed pig. I forgot about Stacey's thing for pigs.
  
• Laine comes to visit and brings Stacey a wind-up spider with red glasses, and blue plastic tulips. Very sophisticated.
  
• While she's worrying about Stacey, Charlotte thinks she has a pinched nerve, an ulcer, diabetes, and anemia. Later she thinks she has Lyme disease, arthritis, kidney disease, and strep throat.
  
• On Friday Stacey wakes up and feels bad, so she rings for a nurse. Last year I was in the hospital, and not in a private room like Stacey. My bed was added into a two bed room, right between them. And my buzzer was actually the buzzer for another bed. So whenever I rang it, a nurse would pop her head in, check the first bed (mine was on the other side of a curtain), and then leave. It took me awhile to figure out what was happening.
  
• Stacey and her mom have a weird talk about her Dad, and his workaholic ways and how he avoids problems. But then Stacey doesn't want to talk anymore, so they find a Woody Allen movie and watch that. Because Woody Allen movies ALWAYS make situations less awkward.
  
• Other sophisticated New York gifts from Laine: A camouflage print hat that says "Daddy's Little Hunting Buddy," a pair of light-up sunglasses, glow in the dark jewelry, a palm tree pen, and a mirror that laughs at you.
  
• Alan Gray set off a cherry bomb in the bathroom? That seems...really serious.
  
• Cokie got a nose job? That also seems unlikely.
  
• After she comes home (after two weeks in the hospital), Stacey finally tells her mother that she's tired of being put in the middle. And her mom seems to listen. Hurrah!

Final Thought: I really like the colour of blue of Stacey's shirt on the cover. When I first read this, I would have thought that was the coolest shirt ever.

#107: Mind Your Own Business, Kristy!

Tagline: Oh, brother!

Cover: Go for it, Charlie! Although he looks kind of fug through the face. Angelica is exhibiting quite the bitchface. And Kristy looks kind of like Blair from Gossip Girl, if Blair was undercover as...no, Blair would never look like that.

Plot!: It's Spring Break! So naturally, Kristy decides to organize a softball clinic for the Krushers. She gets Charlie to help her, but he starts exhibiting normal teenage behaviour when he'd rather be around Angelica. Kristy gets jealous and upset and they fight, and it's not pretty. Then, on their way to a concert, Angelica gets everyone in an accident and it's a big mess. Eventually Kristy and Charlie work out their differences and bond in a siblingy way.

Points of Interest:

• One of the colleges that Charlie receives a brochure from is from Levithan Polytechnic Institute, which I think is a Peter Lerangis shout-out to YA writer David Levithan.
  
• Kristy wins tickets to a Blade concert. Blade is her all-time favourite rock group, in case you didn't know.
  
• Kristy + Bart = not that much, apparently. They're on the outs for this book.
• A Sassy reference? I think that's another case of Lerangis seeing how much he can slip by AMM.
  
• Kristy decides to hold a softball clinic for the Krushers. But uh-oh! Dissension in the ranks! Stacey whines that they're on vacation. And so, accordingly, Stacey isn't much heard from for the rest of the book.
  
• Charlie is distracted by Angelica, who is baby-sitting from the Hsus (an outside baby-sitter?!?). We know we're not supposed to like her because Kristy doesn't, and we know she's bad news because she smokes!
• Watson takes Kristy shopping at a sports store, but then goes into a gourmet shop and Kristy explains that he isn't an athlete. But didn't he help her set up the Krushers? And doesn't he umpire for them? Maybe he's just being nice.
• Kristy tries to set Charlie up with Sarah, his ex-girlfriend, by arranging for them both to be in the same place at the same time. And just like every other time this has been used on TV or in a book, it doesn't work.
  
• Charlie starts blowing off the Krushers' Klinic (no, really, that's what it's called) to spend time with Angelica. So Kristy tells Charlie that he's acting like their dad. Low blow, Kristy.
  
• Charlie borrows Watson's car to take him, Angelica, Kristy, and Claudia to the Blade concert, but he's so used to driving the crummy old Junk Bucket that he has no idea how to drive a fancy car. So Angelica drives, but gets pulled over by a cop car. But it turns out she didn't have a license! So she and Charlie try to switch places (while driving!), and the car rams into the shoulder barriers. Watson is going to be pissed.
  
• But when they get home, Charlie's punishment is to pay for the traffic ticket, not drive the Junk Bucket (not even to Kristy's BSC meetings?) and to rethink his social attachments. Harsh.
  
• Oh, and Charlie also promised to get Jack Brewster, a famous ex-ball player, to come to the Krushers' Klinic. But he flaked on that, too. But Sarah, his ex-girlfriend, is related to Jack Brewster and she arranges for him to come after all!
  
• Angelica sends a note to Charlie: "Dear Charles. I haven't called you because I'm really upset. I didn't want to cry and yell over the phone, so I figured I'd write instead. First of all, I'm sorry for what I did. It was stupid. My parents are so mad at me. They don't want me to see you ever again. They said it was totally unlike me to do what I did. They think you were a bad influence. I argued with them a lot. But then I thought about it. My last boyfriend had a car, too, and I never tried to drive it. Well, he was a great driver, that was the main reason. But even if I asked, no way would he have let me. He was this super-mature type. We actually had a lot in common. I think we broke up because we were almost exactly alike. Then I met you. You were so different - like a big kid. I needed that for awhile. But I have this weakness - I let other people's personalities rub off on me. So what I'm saying is, I think my parents were right. I need to move on, Charlie. I need to find someone on my wavelength. Hope you're not mad at me. Ciao, Angelica."
• Okay. Unless Charlie and Angelica knew each other from school (and she probably goes to Stoneybrook Day School or something), they've known each other less than a week. They were on like, one date.
• The rest of the book is kind of hit and miss (no baseball pun intended, if there even is one there), but pages 124-127 are really, really good. Charlie is forced to confront Angelica's statement that he's a big kid and Kristy's allegation that he's just like their dad. He and Kristy talk about what is was like when their Dad left and how Charlie pulled the whole family together. I know I mentioned this in Kristy's Big Day (probably in reference to this book), but I really do like the Kristy-Charlie-Sam dynamic, especially when they're talking about serious stuff.
  
• Jack Brewster shows up and everyone is happy. And he tries to get Charlie and Sarah back together. He's a ballplayer AND a matchmaker! I smell sitcom!

Final Thought: This, like almost all of my books, is one that I bought used (this one is from eBay) and the previous owner filled in the notebook pages at the back. She's seven and in 2nd Grade and bought the book from Chapters. Her favourite part was when Sarah helped Charlie, her favourite member is Mary Anne, she is most like Claudia because they have jet black hair, and if she could write a BSC book it would be about "kissing and in love things." This is what she thinks of Angelica: she's a show-off, a liear, and is acetative.

#52: Mary Anne + 2 Many Babies

Tagline: How much trouble can a bunch of babies be?

Cover: Mary Anne is at her most soccer mom here, with tight legging-like pants, an oversized sweater and push-down slouch socks. Ricky, the baby in the white and red outfit, has really pointed ears; he looks a little like Batboy.

Plot!: Once again, the BSC is baby crazy. They get a call from parents of baby twins, wanting them to sit for their twins. So Mary Anne does, and the jobs start out easy, but then they get hard, because looking after babies is hard. At the same time, the girls have an assignment for Modern Living where they have to take care of an egg and pretend it's their baby. Mary Anne and Logan are paired up, and they can't agree on anything, and they have big fights. And in the end they decide that they're too young to raise a baby, even an egg baby. Also, Dawn and Mary Anne are pestering their parents for a little brother or sister, but they change their minds after the sitting and the class. Luckily, Richard and Sharon didn't take their family planning cues from their 13 year old children, and instead offer to get them another pet, which they decline.

Points of Interest:

• Mary Anne finds hedge clippers in the bread drawer. Oh, Sharon.
• Shillaber twins shoutout! Mariah and Miranda have a new baby brother. This starts Dawn and Mary Anne talking about how awesome it would be if their parents had a baby. I just don't get it. The household had enough of a hard time adjusting to TIGGER when he moved in, how are they going to handle a baby?
  
• Dawn and Mary Anne leave an hour early to go to Claudia's. That seems...excessive. How far away is Claudia's house?
  
• Ugh. Mary Anne describes Claudia's skin as creamy. Ew. That is currently my number one pet peeve about the series. I'm dealing with it by imagining fake conversations that the ghost writers had with each other:
  
  Ghostwriter #1: Hey, ghostwriter #2.
  Ghostwriter #2: Hey, ghostwriter #1. What's up.
  G1: I'm just wrapping up work on #55.
  G2: Nice. I'm almost done Mystery #7. Hey, what kind of Claudia outfit did you include?
  G1: A fringe vest, culottes, yellow boots, red socks, a cowboy hat, and a side ponytail. You?
  G2: A tie-dyed unitard, a skirt made of ties, feathered earrings, lace-up sandals, and a sombrero.
  G1: Awesome. Is it summer for your book?
  G2: Yeah, again.
  G1: Me, too.
  G2: Oh, I wanted to tell you, I managed to work all of our suggested phrases into Chapter Two.
  G1: No way. I've only ever managed about 75%.
  G2: I know, it wasn't pretty but it's all there. Creamy, bi-coastal, an exaggerated 'long,' mansion and millionaire, steady boyfriend, orthodontist appointments, diabetes, ew, Nancy Drew, California Casual, genius, math, perm, broken leg, French, contacts, War and Peace, sophisticated, dibble, fresh, day-glo, exotic, an individual, Stamford, barre, six mentions of divorce, junior members, triplets, Kentucky, and ice cream.
  G1: I can never bring myself to write California Casual.
  G2: Yeah, I know. Although it's describing her as an individual that I have the hardest time with.
  G1: Hey, did you cram the BSC information together with the chapter two stuff, or did you leave them separate?
  G2: No, I left them separate. That way there's less room for the real plot, because it just doesn't make any sense. I mean, it directly contradicts the last book I wrote.
  G1: Tell me about it. (beep beep) Oh, I have another call. (new call) Hello?
  AMM: Ghostwriter 1? It's Ann M. Martin.
  G1: Oh, hi, Ann. How are you?
  AMM: You know, I think you should call me Ms. M. Martin. We don't know each other that well.
  G1: Okay, Ms. M. Martin. How are you?
  AMM: Fine, thank you. I was just having tea like a Lovely Lady and I had a Great Idea.
  G1: What was it?
  AMM: In Chapter Five, I want you to make an I Love Lucy reference. To the time when she and Ethel worked in the chocolate factory.
  G1: (sigh) Okay, Ms. M. Martin. I'll make sure it's in there.
  AMM: Great. Do you want to talk to my cats?
  G1: That's okay. I'll catch them next time. Bye.
  AMM: Bye. (hangs up)
  G1: You still there?
  G2: Let me guess - I Love Lucy.
  G1: I need a drink.
  

• In Modern Living, the teacher asks who is capable of parenting of being married, or living on your own. And Mary Anne thinks that she is, because she babysits a lot. Gah. Really, Mary Anne? I had so much hope for you.
  
• Oh, it gets worse. She also thinks that she and Logan are ready to 'take the big step.' As long as 'the big step' means getting fake married in your 8th grade class.
  
• Shawna Riverson is drawn as being really ditzy. But in Claudia and the Middle School Mystery, she's supposed to be an A student and really capable of organizing stuff.
• Four boys in the class have to marry each other. But they have to pretend that one is a girl, because there HAS to be a husband and a wife. Otherwise it's not a marriage! Boy, attitudes were really different back in 1992!
• Their first assignment is to figure out if they can afford to live on their own and pay all of their bills. What 13 year old can do that? Unless they're receiving money from some kind of trust or something, I guess, or if they're emancipated minors of some kind, but I hope it's an exercise designed to show them that they can't take care of themselves yet.
  
• Whoa! Microwave popcorn! That seems really advanced for AMM.
  
• The Modern Living class is given eggs, and have to pretend that they're children. I remember being really nervous that one of my classes was going to try that, but they never did.
  
• This is bringing back memories of Degrassi Junior High, the episode Eggbert, where Spike is pregnant and Shane wants to kind of be involved, so she gives him the egg to look after. Spoiler alert: It doesn't end well.
  
  
  
  
• I know I'm giving you a lot of non-book content in this one, but it's kind of a boring book.
  
• Mary Anne and Logan walk around for the whole book calling each other Dear and Sweetheart. I think they're getting into this a little too much.
  
• Kristy "marries" Alan Gray and they name their egg Izzy. She takes him on a job to the Papadakis' house, and Alan calls to check on them. And then Kristy tells him that the egg is shy and nervous and then they talk about the egg's socialization and development. No, really. They talk for so long that Hannie and Linny and Sari wander off and do their own thing. And that's what I call Bull on. Yes, Kristy would be into a school assignment, but no way would she neglect her baby-sitting duties while on the job. Think of the club's reputation!
• Mary Anne and Logan name their child Samantha.
  
• Stacey "marries" Austin Bentley and their egg is named Bobby. She shows how sophisticated she is by not really being into the project that much. Then she sits for the Gianellis and Alicia is terrified by the egg, because she saw it in a bed. So she calls her 'husband' to come over and take the baby, and realizes how difficult it is to be a single parent.
  
• Dawn marries some guy named Aaron Albright and her egg is named Skip, and she hates that name. She would have named the egg Douglas. But she does PSA that she is never ever changing her name, no matter who she marries.
  
• One of the couples in the class lost their baby: she was in the tin they keep her in when they left school, but when they checked at the park she was gone. They say that they don't know she got out of the tin. Except...she didn't. She's an egg. Either there's a hole in the tin, or something or someone took her out. I can't snark too much on a lost child, but these people seem to be forgetting that it's still just an egg.
  
• Mary Anne thinks that she'll wait until she's a lot older before she gets married. Like, when she's 22.
  
• At the end of the class, they hand in a 32-page, typed, single spaced paper. That seems...like a lot. They also have to write a good-bye letter to their egg, twenty-one years in the future. That would be in...2013. So their Egg would be now 17 years old...if it wasn't an egg.
  
• Mal wants eight kids, just like her mom. I have a hard time believing that.
  

Final Thought: I had no idea so much Degrassi Junior High was on Youtube. This is really making me happy.

#99: Stacey's Broken Heart

Tagline: Will Stacey and Robert be together forever?

Cover: Why do these covers always ask such stupid questions? Anyway, the cover. Is it just me, or does Robert look like he's saying something like "Stacey, I know we're young, but I promise I'll take care of you and the baby." My interest is definitely more in the guys in the background, silently arranging some kind of train-based rendezvous.

Plot!: It's summer time in Stoneybrook, and Stacey is heading to New York for a week-long baby-sitting job with the Walkers, the arty couple from the building she used to live in. The problem is that she's nervous about being away from Robert, her boyfriend. But while she's there she meets Ethan, who's older and a city guy, and Robert starts seeing other people, and they break up. Meanwhile, Kristy is on vacation with her family, and Abby's in charge of the BSC. She decides to have a Mexican festival, and it's kind of a disaster, because Abby sucks as president and they all miss Kristy's tyrant ways.

Points of Interest:

• Stacey says that the popular kids' values "are the pits." Take that, popular girls.
  
• But that doesn't keep Robert from smiling at Andi Gentile! But Robert! Think about their values.
  
• Another girl, Sheila MacGregor, wore a tight purple unitard to play tennis in. Huh?
  
• The Walkers are a big deal on the New York arts scene, apparently: she's an illustrator, and he does oil paintings, and they're having a show at a major gallery. But when they need someone to watch their kids, they call a 13-year old girl who lives in Connecticut. What about every other time they need a sitter?
  
• Stacey and Robert spend time together playing a video game, Marvel in the Mist. Cool?
• Stacey talks about how much she loves a tan, even though she knows it's, like, bad for you. I can totally see Stacey's Skin Cancer being a later BSC book.
  
• Stacey says that Mary Anne's haircut is adorable. That's definitely not what they said when she got it cut! Mary Anne's Makeover is probably my most favourite BSC book.
  
• Heh. Stacey says Mal has "inner beauty." Poor Mallory!
  
• Okay, the time line is a little weird on this one. I think that this is right around the same time as Dawn Schafer, Undercover Babysitter, but in this one she's not in Stoneybrook anymore. And Stacey leaves town, but in the other book she's here. It's been awhile since I read Dawn and Too Many Sitters, so I'm a bit confused on the timeline.
• Stacey wonders if she's heartless because she's not upset about leaving her boyfriend for a week. No, really.
  
• In this book, when Abby's in charge, she says it's okay to be a few minutes late - not 15, but up to a few minutes. This jumped out at me because it also came up in Jessi's Baby-sitter, when Jessi's ten minutes late and said that she would have called if she was 30 minutes late, but not for ten minutes. Who decides these things? It's all about a slope, isn't it?
• How long is Kristy going to be away for? Abby's making sweeping changes, like cutting dues.
  
• Instead of calling Stacey at home, Emily Bernstein calls Stacey at a BSC meeting to say she saw Robert with another girl. Are the McGill's not listed in the phone book? I guess TECHNICALLY they haven't been in Stoneybrook a year, so they might not be listed.
  
• Stacey wears sunglasses to spy on Robert at the mall. And Claudia is like, "take those glasses off, you look ridiculous." CLAUDIA.
• Robert and Pete Black go see a romantic movie together. Maybe he's into Pete Black.
  
• Abby goes overboard on this Mexican festival, spending the BSC's money and then her own, and insisting that the members pay her back. And then makes posters (with Caludia Butterfly in charge of spelling) without knowing where the festival will be held, and then tells the kids it's a race to finish the posters. She's really not cut out for this.
  
• The New York part doesn't really get going until Chapter 9. Until then, it's just baby-sitting and paranoia.
  
• Stacey and her dad have this long, awkward converation about her relationship with Robert while they're in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Not only is it awkward to be talking about this stuff with your dad (especially since you still have anger at him over the divorce), but can you imagine what it must be like for the other people there?
  
• Ethan, Stacey's soon-to-be beau, has deep blue eyes, long black hair, high cheekbones, a straight nose, and a wide mouth. Hot?
  
• Claudia saw Robert kissing Andi - on the lips! Cue Saved by the Bell audience-style "ooooo-oooo"
• For all of her sports experiences, Abby isn't really a team player, is she?
  
• Stacey and Robert break up. He didn't want to do it earlier, because he wasn't sure about what was going with Andi and he didn't want to upset her. Real nice, Robert.
  
• Stacey decides that she's sadder but wiser, and that she'll live. Yay.
  

Final Thought: Stacey's little headshot on the cover is really unfortunate. She's all jaw and teeth. Not that the cover picture does her any pictures, either.

# 14: Hello, Mallory

Tagline: Why are the Baby-sitters making it so hard for Mallory to join their club?

Cover: Because the girls can be cliquey bitches when they want to be. This is Mallory's first book, and unlike Dawn and Abby, she gets to narrate a story before she's even officially in the club. By the way, I always say this title like Jerry's saying "Hello, Newman" in Seinfeld. Is that a cat on Claudia's shoulder? Oh, no, it's just her hair (but I could totally see Claudia wearing a stuffed cat on her shoulder, like a parrot). I think it's the Perkins girls that are on the cover with them - RoboToddler Gabbie and The Amazing Myriah.

Plot!: Stacey has just moved away back to New York, and the BSC is looking to replace her. They have already asked Mallory to consider joining, so this one picks up just before Mallory meets with them. They make her take a test, which she flunks because it's ridiculously hard, and observe her sitting, and Claudia makes her so nervous that that's a bust, too. So she quits before she even joins. While this is going on, a new student starts as MSS. It's Jessi Ramsay, and hold on to your hats, guys - she's black! She and Mallory bond over horse stories and feeling like outsiders, and even try their own baby-sitting club before the BSC comes crawling back, and they both join.

Points of Interest:

• Claire Pike calls her parents Moozie and Daggles.
  
• Okay, here's a new entry on the Mallory hair continuity: all of the Pikes have dark brown hair. Then why is Mallory sometimes a redhead?
• While Mallory is baby-sitting, Nicky breaks his finger playing volleyball. I only mention it because it will be important later.
  
• Mallory pictures the BSC members in their cool clothes: brightly coloured sweater dresses, sparkly tops, and tight pants. Hot.
  
• Speaking of hot, Mallory wears a red jumper with MALLORY across the front (oh, please tell me that all the Pikes have clothes with their names on it), a short-sleeved white blouse, and white tights with hearts on them.
  
• When Mallory gets to school, she sees Jessi for the first time, and of course she notices Jessi's loooooong legs, even though Jessi's probably wearing jeans or something. Also, she calls Jessi beautiful.
  
• Proud moments in Stoneybrook history: the homeroom teacher doesn't ask Jessi to introduce herself, Benny Ott shoots rubber bands at Jessi, the English teacher pretends he doesn't see Benny Ott shooting rubber bands at Jessi, Sally (a sixth grade girl) says that Jessi doesn't belong here, Anita (another sixth grader) thinks that Jessi moved from Africa, and Sally (again) thinks that her real name Mobobwee.
  
• When Mallory arrives at her first BSC meeting, both she and the BSC members act like they don't know her at all. They've been baby-sitting for the Pikes for ages! Mallory even went to Sea City with Mary Anne. This is dumb.
  
• Mallory tells them about Nicky's accident, and the club reacts like Mallory just told them she spent the afternoon drowning animals in the toilet. They tell her they need responsible sitters - even though a kid was KIDNAPPED while Dawn was baby-sitting, the four originals ruined Jamie Newton's birthday party with their fighting, Logan's first job with Jackie Rodowsky was nothing BUT accidents, and Jenny Pereziosso had to go to the hospital while Mary Anne was sitting (which wasn't her fault, but neither was Nicky's finger).
  
• Also, Dawn says that they need responsible sitters because they've had trouble in the past. But the whole Baby-Sitters Agency thing (that I think Dawn is talking about) happened BEFORE Dawn joined. Which would make the last full-time regular sitter who joined Dawn. Of all of them, I would think that Dawn would be the most sympathetic to Mallory.
  
• The next day, Mallory dresses down and wears a shirt that says "I'd rather be writing my novel." I know it's casual and everything, but if you're trying to join this group, why would you advertise that you'd rather be doing something else?
  
• Jessi's birthday is June 13th. Mark that on your calendars.
  
• At this point, Mallory doesn't have braces yet. It's a wonder there wasn't a Very Special Episode about Mal's braces.
  
• At one point (on a non-meeting day) Mr. Perkins calls Claudia to say that Mrs. Perkins has had a new baby (Laura Elizabeth). Apparently, the reason is to arrange some extra baby-sitting or something. But don't these people have adult friends? Why is he calling a 13-year old girl?
  
• The BSC members give Mallory a ridiculous test based on things they read out of textbooks. One of the things was to draw a diagram of the digestive system. She should have turned it around on them and asked Claudia how to spell digestive system. Considering Claudia calls it the divestive system, I think Mallory would have a good case.
  
• Mallory and Jessi bond over horse books. And their feelings of being outsiders. Because racism is totally the same as not being allowed to join the BSC.
  
• According to Jessi's mom, Jessi is Squirt's second mother. Gah? She's 11! I get what she's trying to say, but it still seems weird.
  
• When Jessi comes over to the Pikes, Claire almost asks if she's come to clean their house. Awkward.
  
• Mallory and Jessi decide that to start their own sitting club: Kids Incorporated. They baby-sit AND sing songs:
  
  
• Dawn is pleased that Mrs. Barrett has finally found a woman to help her with her cleaning. That...doesn't seem like any of Dawn's business.
  
• Dawn wonders why, if Mrs. Pike needed a baby-sitter, she didn't call the BSC. Well, maybe because you were just pretty terrible to her daughter. And if the BSC thought that Mallory was old enough to sit, why wouldn't Mrs. Pike? And if Mallory was the co-sitter, why would the BSC want to co-sit with her? It seems like the question is, why would Mrs. Pike call the BSC?
• On page 116, the BSC members FINALLY remember that Mallory helped out the mothers' helpers in Sea City and at their Summer Camp.
  
• Before joining the club, Jessi says that she's afraid her blackness is going to be an issue. After THINKING ABOUT IT FOR AWHILE, the rest of the BSC says that if it is, they'll deal with it later. Seriously, they have to think about letting her join, because she's black. Who would have thought that only twenty years from then, the US would have Barack Obama as president.
  
• On Mallory's do-over sitting job at the Newtons', Claudia sat down at the table and tried to look invisible. How...do you do that? Close your eyes?
• In the end, it's assumed that Mallory and Jessi join the club, partly because they're good sitters and partly because the club is desperate.

Final Thought: Racism is bad. But so is a jumper with your name on it.