#44: Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Tagline: This was going to be one long night!

Cover: Why the past tense tag line? I have no idea. I've always thought that the curves in Dawn's turtleneck make her look oddly well-developed. I have no idea who any of the kids are supposed to be, except one boy has red hair, so it might be Jackie Rodowsky. I've also always thought that the girl in front had hair that did not match her colouring at all.

Plot!: The Stoneybrook Elementary School kids have Zuni pen pals, kids from a school in New Mexico. Then the Zuni school burns down, and they don't know what to do to help. So Dawn suggests a giant sleepover, that the BSC runs, of course. And it saves the day, or something.

Points to Consider:

• I never had a penpal. Once we randomly wrote to elementary schools as a class project, but no one wrote me back.
  
• The penpals send their school pictures to the Stoneybrook kids. Adam is disappointed because his penpal, Conrad, doesn't look enough like an "Indian." He expected warpaint and headdresses.
  
• Byron is crushed because Jordan used pig latin - their secret language! - with his penpal.
  
• Dawn is practically gushing over Mal, saying how smart and creative and uh, practical she is.
• You might be shocked: Sharon Porter Schafer Spier is NOT Julia Child.
  
• Dawn wants a Zuni pen pal, but she doesn't have one, so she's sad. Then Mary Anne suggests writing to the elementary school and asking about a middle school writing exchange, and Dawn reacts like it's the greatest idea in the history of the world. No, Dawn, just the most obvious.
  
• No, Dawn. Orange stirrup pants do not look "totally cool" on ANYBODY.
• But wait. Dawn, who was so upset that she didn't have a penpal that Mary Anne immediately started asking her what was wrong, then "sort of forgot about it."
  
• Claudia is dressed like Pebbles Flinstone.
  
• Maybe it's just the books I've been reading lately, but there are an awful lot of times when some of the girls are at a meeting and they start giggling about something and then someone walks in and says "What's so funny?" and they all start laughing again, usually with food in their mouth. It's just so FUN being a member of the BSC.
  
• The Zuni school was destroyed in a fire. It was next to a gas station and it exploded and the fire spread.
  
• Dawn tells Richard and Sharon about the fire. Richard's reaction: "Maybe they didn't have a good sprinkler system." If this was a fire at a GAS STATION, I don't know what a sprinkler system could have done...?
  
• Ugh. There's this whole thing where Dawn talks about how poor the Zunis are, but still noble. It probably is coming from a genuine place, but the writing in this section is just cringeworthy.
  
• Mary Anne is reading Tiger Eyes. Maybe there should be a new blog, in addition to What Claudia Wore - What the Baby-Sitters Read.
  
• Why is Claudia always put in charge of sign making?
  
• Charlotte is nervous about her house burning down, especially because she doesn't have an aunt to move in with like her pen pal did. She asks Stacey if she could live with her if her house burned down, and Stacey does this weird, "uh, well, that's, uh, that's really unlikely..." Come on, Stacey! She's your almost sister!
• This books is really boring, and quite a downer.
  
• Aparently, Ray Stuckey is the class clown in Dawn's homeroom class. He makes fun of Dawn for not answering her name, and then bitches that the BSC gets excused to go to SES for an assembly. So Dawn says, "Eat your heart out, Ray." Ooooh, that's like, the worst thing a teen can say to another teen. Um, what?
  
• Wow...the school secretary has a computer! That's something I was not expecting.
  
• Ah, the days when some random adult could just drive students off-campus without a handful of permission slips.
  
• Woman-in-a-position-of-power alert: The SES principal is a woman.
• Everyone acts like Dawn is the second coming for thinking up this great idea, but NOBODY is saying that the emperor has no clothes. Dawn's great idea was a vague "let's do something to send them food and clothes and money." ZOMG - that's...exactly what everyone does when there's a crisis.
  
• There are also Make Way for Ducklings and Freddy the Pig mentions.
  
• The Pikes have a carnival to raise money. The Rodowskys have a yard sale. Both times, BSC members are in charge of it. Where are these people's parents? Is there some kind of underground swingers club that they're all part of? Where's that fanfic?
  
• Kids start donating things that belong to their parents, without asking permission, like book sets, lamps, and fancy suits. Maybe if the parents paid attention once in awhile this wouldn't happen! (Don't worry - I'm not down on all parents. Just the Stoneybrook ones).
  
• Alan Gray apparently has a crush on Kristy. Remember that for when we get to Claudia and the Disaster Date.
  
• It's a big deal that the pizza place doesn't have flour, so they almost have to cancel the order, but then the pizza guy decides to make them with whole wheat flour. I guess that was a big deal back then...?
• One of the songs that they play at the sleepover is "Who built the ark? Noah! Noah!" which is strangely religious for a public elementary school sleepover.
  
• A second Robert McCloskey book is mentioned - what are you doing, Lerangis?
  
• Ms. Besser asks the BSC to stay exactly the same age for a few years (until she has kids to be babysat). Hahahah...ha.
• I don't even want to think of how much it cost to send all of this stuff to the Zunis. Oh, remember the Zunis? The ones whose school burned down? Yeah, we didn't hear too much about them in the middle of the book, as the BSC managed to turn someone else's tragedy into something that was all. about. them.
  

Final thought: Even though like, no one is voting for more Karen/Little Sister recaps, there will definitely be more coming up, because they're shorter and easier to get through. So y'all have that to look forward to.

Mystery #2: Beware, Dawn!

Tagline: Someone is out to scare Dawn!

Cover: Yep, it's a mystery. Dawn, California Casual in denim-on-denim and some weird bracelet, needs the curtain to protect her from the eeeeevil envelope. It kind of looks like the house is on fire, too, but that doesn't really happen.

Plot!: This is one of the most poorly plotted Mysteries, I would say. Because not only does it pretty much rip off two previous books (Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn, and Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls), it has all of the girls working separately and only really coming together at the end of the book. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

One by one, the sitters (except Kristy) start receiving mystery notes and calls on their sitting jobs. They each decide not to tell each other, because at the same time there is a Sitter of the Month contest, and they each want to win (even though they agree not to compete against each other). Eventually they do share the ideas and come up with a plan to trap Mr. X. Which they do, and it's a little boy who hates the BSC because they got him in trouble for teasing. But he gets the help he needs and everyone is happy. Oh, and there's a seven-way tie for the best sitter, and they all win. The end.

Continuity Watch: Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls, Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn, Stacey's Emergency and Jessi's Baby-sitter all get shoutouts. That does not make up for basically recycling the plots.

Points of Interest:

• In the first chapter, there are a bunch of regulars (Nicky Pike, Jamie Newton, the Hobarts) and then two other boys, Zach Wolfson and Mel Tucker, who apparently also made an appearance in Kristy and the Secret of Susan. Do you think that this random mention has anything to do with the mystery? Knowing the BSC, there are probably a tonne of red herrings, but in this case it's more like the random 8 year old in the first act will go off in the third act.
  
• Dawn shares that her "wardrobe is mostly in bright colors, and it's all pretty informal stuff - loose and kind of sporty." Really?
• So Ben Hobart and Mallory were studying at the library. When Dawn breathlessly reports this to Mary Anne, MA sighs and gets teary eyed. There's sensitive, and then there's emotional problems.
  
• Although if you're going to cry at a telephone commercial, it better be the one about the grandson calling his grandfather from Dieppe and saying thank you.
  
• Dawn says she likes to hear Mallory rattle off the names of her brothers and sisters. Really? I mean, there are seven names to say, but it's not that impressive. It's not like it's Matt Damon's imaginary siblings in Good Will Hunting.
• Ben thinks that Mal is a "bonzer sheila," which apparently means a great girl, although this has never been confirmed by an actual Australian person.
  
• The kids at school decided that there should be a contest for "Sitter of the Month," to show who is the most fun and nicest and the best baby-sitter. I love the idea that the kids came up with this specifically because they KNEW that it would mess with their minds.
  
• While sitting for Karen, Andrew and David Michael, Dawn plays Let's All Come In, featuring Bruce Stringbean, Darryl Blueberry, and Ladonna. Then Kristy accuses her of being "super-sitter" to win the contest. I have a feeling there's no pleasing Kristy.
  
• Stacey says that when they compete with each other it never goes well. Jessi agrees, bringing up the time she stole Jackie Rodowsky's science project out from under him. Which...was not about that at all. It was more reactionary because of how Aunt Cecelia was treating her. A better example is the Miss Stoneybrook pageant, which they do eventually bring up.
  
• While sitting for the Prezziosos, Dawn has Jenny - a four year old - answer the phone. That does not seem like a super-sitter decision. Especially because the caller is Mr. Nobody/Mr. X, the mysterious figure who is menacing the sitters.
  
• Dawn's letter to her brother: "Dearest Little Bro, What's up? What's fresh? Everything's cool back here in Stoneybrook. What's happening out there in sunny Cal?" No, really.
• Mr. X leaves a note on the Prezziosos' front porch: You'd better watch out, you'd better not shout! I'm going to get you. Mr. X. And it's done in cut-out letters, like a ransom note. Dawn immediately thinks that Jenny is behind it. Jenny, the four year old, who is currently asleep in bed, was behind this complicated note. Dawn is full of wild assumptions in these mysteries.
  
• Also, Dawn decides to not tell anyone about this. Gah. This note is really scary! Also, why does Dawn assume it's for her? Maybe someone wants to kidnap Jenny or Andrea or something, and Dawn is hiding evidence.
  
• When a similar thing happens at the Rodowsky's house, the boys want to call the police. Why are the children smarter than the baby-sitter?
  
• Is anyone surprised that Becca's favourite show is The Cosby Show?
  
• Ah, popcorn makers. Do people use those anymore?
• When Jessi is sitting, she gets a note from Mr. X (Best wishes from your secret admirer) and a bouquet of flowers with dead flowers on it. But Jessi doesn't say anything either, because she wants to impress the others.
  
• The Pike parents. I never know what to think about them. I've talked before about the ridiculousness of having four kids under the age of 2 and then continuing to have more children each successive year, but they also talk about how easy going they are when it comes to rules. But then Mallory (whose perspective is definitely skewed) says how tough they are about her clothes and appearance. I wonder what they would do if Mallory wore, like, a sparkly top or something. They'd probably ground her, but then insist that she babysit for them anyway.
  
• The note for Mallory and Mary Anne: Do you like your hamster? If you do, you'd better keep an eye on him. And there's a picture of an eye instead of the word. Okay, that's pretty much a direct threat. And they still decide not to do anything.
  
• But the Pikes see it and freak out and decide to spend the rest of the day protecting Frodo, their hamster. So now this crazy person is affecting the kids, and yet the sitters still decide to not do anything. This is aggrevating.
  
• Oh, and a dead mouse shows up on the Pike's porch. Here's my thinking: if you're ever in a situation where you're trying to decide if it's serious or not, and dead animals show up, it's serious.
  
• Kristy sits for the Kormans, and she gets a mysterious phone call....from her mom. And then the door rings....and it's Mr. Papadakis. Waah-waah.
  
• Chapter 11, page 98: the sitters FINALLY come clean about Mr. X. And it turns out that they all have Mr. X stories - except Kristy. So, of course, Dawn starts to suspect Kristy as the culprit. Because Kristy would TOTALLY sabotage the club in order to win the super-sitter contest.
  
• Claudia's notebook entry: Whooever Mr. X is, I wish he wuld just dissapear off the fase of the eurth. I mean, even if he is'nt danjerus, or evil, or any of that stuff, the fact is that hes' a pest. A reel pane. And I wish he'd quit buging us. I get that she can't spell, but not even the word FACE? or REAL? GAH.
  
• Mr. X smears baked beans all over the Johanssen's porch. O...kay.
  
• While baby-sitting for Jamie Newton, Jamie lets it slip to Dawn that Mel Tucker is going to do a secret baby-sitting check on them. Mel...Who? Oh, right, that random guy from the first chapter. I'm sure glad I paid attention to that!
• When the doorbell rings Dawn says: "I had a feeling it wasn't Avon calling, if you know what I mean." This line cracks me up.
  
• With a suspect in mind, the BSC set up a sting to catch Mr. X in the act. I don't know why they didn't do this already. Mr. X has a pretty similar M.O.: a few phone calls, and then something left at the door. So why wouldn't they just have someone staking out a sitting job? No, instead they have this fake thing, where Dawn tells everyone that she'll be home alone, sitting for her 'cousin.'
• Mr. X breaks into Dawn's house through her secret passageway. That's...really creepy.
  
• So Mr. X turns out to be Mel Tucker after all. He confesses to everything, except for the dead mouse and making some noises that Dawn heard. The reason he was doing all this? Because the BSC told Mrs. Hobart that he was teasing her boys, and she told Mel's parents, who grounded him.
  
• After hearing Mel's story, including that his parents want to send him to a psychiatrist (or, as Kristy says, a feelings doctor), Dawn tells Mel's dad that Mel is basically a sweet kid. Um, how do you know that, Dawn? You've already said you don't know him very well, and what you have seen: teasing an Autistic girl, teasing the Hobarts, threatening the BSC, and breaking his grounding to scare the BSC and their charges, not to mention conning the rest of the kids into giving him the information of where the BSC would be sitting. So, stay out of it.
  
• Sleepover, pizza: guess what! Yes, that's right, a pizza toast. Dawn eats cheesy pizza? I guess it's vegetarian, but I would see her going for a sprout topping or something.
  
• A whole bunch of kids show up at Claudia's to announce the winner of the Sitter of the Month contest. And it's a seven-way tie. Yes, they all win. Gag.

Final Thought: Even though this one comes fairly deep into the series (1991), there's still a lot of Kristy and Dawn tension simmering just below the surface.

Mystery #26: Dawn Schafer, Undercover Baby-Sitter

Tagline: Dawn's a detective in disguise...as a baby-sitter!

Cover: Actually, Dawn's a baby-sitter...who just likes to snoop around in other people's business. And that's pretty evident in this cover. She's only vaguely paying attention to the kids, to make sure they don't see her going through their mothers' stuff. And it's not even like, looking at the desk to see what's out there...she's going through a little box of stuff! Unbelievable. Other than that, Dawn looks a little off but not as bad as some covers, and it looks like Hodges Soileau just skimmed through the book for the cover: portrait? check! red-haired kids? check! uncomfortable looking house? check!

Plot!: Dawn's in Stoneybrook for one of their many summers, but it's already coming to a close. Before she leaves, she takes a semi-regular job with a new family who are living in a mysterious mansion. The three Livingstone sisters are trying to solve a mystery in order to claim their inheritance, and of course the BSC has to get involved (because two of the sisters hire sitters to come and watch the kids while they're out doing...stuff? Solving the mystery? I don't know). So they do, not only solving the mystery but also repairing the broken family dynamic. Meanwhile, Dawn overbooks herself because that's what the plot demands of her, and she's finding it hard to say goodbye to everyone because Dawn is just so awesome everyone in the whole town wants a piece of her before she leaves. So she says goodbye in groups, and eventually moves the whole town with her heart. No, that's actually what the last line of the book: "Because I would be moving the whole town out there - in my heart."

Points of Interest:

• As far as mysteries goes, this one at least makes sense, because there is a mystery but it's not ridiculous, in the sense that it could happen. What is ridiculous is that the BSC gets so involved in it and the family lets them, and also that the family hasn't already solved it.
  
• I think I've touched on this before, but 'steady boyfriend' is one of those stock BSC phrases that I just don't get. What teenage girl uses that? It seems really out of date.
  
• In terms of chronology, this one takes place just after the Super Special Aloha, Babysitters! But then at the end of the book, Kristy and her family go to Hawaii too, which I think is mentioned in the rest of the series. This is probably also the summer of Dawn and Too Many Sitters, the terrible experiment where Jeff and the Pike Triplets join the BSC.
• "Mary Anne and Richard aren't above eating a steak once in a while, or ordering their pizza with extra pepperoni." Thanks, Dawn.
• Dawn is using cosmetics that haven't been tested on animals: "After all, why should some fluffy little bunny suffer so I can be beautiful?"
• Both Erica Blumberg and Emily Bernstein make plans with Dawn to do stuff before she leaves. I didn't know they were this close. Dawn didn't really have a chance to make other friends before she was taken in by the Cult of the BSC, and since then she's only really socialized with them. I know they're friendly, but Dawn starts blowing plans with like, Mary Anne to accomodate these people? This is a stupid plot-driven plot.
  
• For the Chapter Two set up, Dawn takes "memory pictures" of the club. But Mallory and Jessi have to share one - they don't even rate their own memories!
• The BSC goes against the wishes of the Livingstone sisters (now Mrs. Keats and Mrs. Cornell) and bring their children to play together. In addition to having a reputation for being good sitters, the BSC should have a reputation for being enormous buttinskis.
  
• Okay, this was when I almost threw the book down in disgust. Dawn, in planning all of her 'before I leave' stuff, made plans to go to the pool complex with Matt and Haley Braddock. Not as a baby-sitter...just...because. What? I mean, I guess it's no different than Claudia going to the museum with Corrie Addison and the Arnold twins, but still...it's just such a different mindset from the one I have.
  
• Also, in order to facilitate this "Dawn is just too popular for her own good" plot, she also overbooks herself, forgets appointments, and in general acts very unlike the regular orderly, organized Dawn. She acts a lot like her mom does with keys and shoes.
  
• Ugh. At one point, Dawn sees a check signed by A. Livingstone and immediately assumes that Arthur Livingstone, the dead man, is alive. Rather than thinking that it was signed by Amy Livingstone, who is still alive. OR it was a post-dated cheque. This book is full of "red herrings."
• Each sister got a clue from Arthur Livingstone that would help them find the treasure. The clues are: "The first is always the most important," "The signature tells all," and "I didn't do it, I was _______." The first two are kind of obscure, but doesn't the third one give it away? What else could it be? Set up? Innocent? In Europe at the time?
  
• Oh, and the butler is really their brother. Their father had told them he was dead, but Amy was in touch with him the whole time. That is really messed up. But then later, Mrs. Keats says that she wanted to find him but the father said to forget about him. So...huh?
  
• Anyway, the mystery is solved, because the answer is behind a really ugly portrait of Mr. Livingstone. And they decide to split the estate four ways. Hurrah.
  
• Yawn. Another BSC party for the charges.
  
• On page 122 it says that Jamie Newton ate three cupcakes and then asked Dawn to marry him (heh, he was sugar-drunk!), but on page 123, it says Claudia matched Nicky by eating three cupcakes. Which is it?
  
• At Dawn's party for her friends, it's BSC members, Emily Bernstein, and Mari Drabek. Who?
  
• OMG! The BSC members skip their meeting because they're at Dawn's, partying. You know that shit would not happen if Kristy was not in Hawaii with her family.
• OMG II! Dawn eats some Ben & Jerry's ice cream and does not lecture about sugar content or having teeth when she's 90.
  
• The next day she has Family Day, where the Schafer-Spiers do things like: eat breakfast! eat lunch! and eat dinner! Pretty wild.
  

Final Thought: This is the last book narrated by Dawn in the BSC series. Farewell, Dawn.

#50: Dawn's Big Date

Happy Canada Day! Sadly, The BSC Wiki isn't giving me many Canada references...I think Lisa and Seth Engle go to Nova Scotia or something once, and Pierre D'Amboise is almost from Canada, which sort of counts. Anyway. Since there's nothing else, let's continue on (redundant!) with another book:

Tagline: Is Dawn's date a total disaster?

Cover: In a word...yes. Dawn looks okay but not at all California Casual, or denimy, which is how we know she's not herself. Mary Anne is rocking the soon-to-be soccer mom look, which goes nicely with Logan's ken doll blandness. Lewis, his cousin and Dawn's date, is glaring at Dawn, which seems kind of rude, and I hope it was just a glance and not how he spent the whole movie. The background looks really kind of creepy - lots of blurry faces, one that looks kind of like Dustin Hoffman, a girl over Logan's shoulder that is totally staring at the foursome, and lots of old-fashioned haircuts.

Plot!: Dawn's been writing to Lewis, Logan's cousin, and they kind of like each other. He comes to town, and Dawn gets nervous, so she decides to completely change her personality. Nobody likes it, so she changes back, they start over, and they get along okay. In subplot land, Norman Hill is fat, and the baby-sitters try to get him to drink water and not down entire bags of cookies. Which they do, by telling him to pretend that he's a toilet. Garbage in, garbage out.

Points of Interest:

• Okay, I have to make a confession: I like tofu. It's true, I do. I also eat meat (I'm eating a hamburger as I write this, so take that, Dawn), but I really enjoy tofu. I starting eating it while I was at school, in the residence dining hall, and it was in food and I didn't really know it, but I liked the texture and the taste. I guess that makes me a weirdo like Dawn.
  
• Having said all that, I still would not serve tofu apple nut loaf or soybean pie at a party.
  
• Dawn on hot dogs: yick! Okay, this is like the third time it's come up: who says yick? I don't think I've ever said it. Yuck, ick, yes. Come on, ghostwriters!
• They're planning for a New Year's Eve party. I love the whole Christmas season. I can't even snark on this one too much...okay, that's a lie, because this one is totally snarkable, but I am having a general good feeling as I'm reading it just because I love the Christmas season so much.
  
• Wait. The BSC is having a New Year's Eve party? No one in Stoneybrook needed a sitter for New Year's Eve? Not even their own families? What?
• Here's the Dawn we all "love": Other girls are always saying I should be a model or an actress. They say, "Oh, I wish I had your silky hair." Or, "I'd die to have your skin." (They might have good hair and skin if they didn't eat so much junk food.) Enough people have told me I'm pretty, so I should believe it.
• Kristy is tense because Mary Anne and Dawn are late to the meeting. Dawn says that she's also jealous of Dawn because of her friendship/step-sistership with Mary Anne. I wish that had been a bit more explored in the series.
  
• Jessi eats caramel-covered popcorn? What about being a fat ballerina?
  
• Dawn puts up a cardboard New Year's Baby with a banner that says 1979, because she's just that offbeat. Also: why do they have a cardboard New Year's Baby with a banner that says 1979? I doubt it's Richard's, and if it's Sharon's, that means that she moved it all across the country. Maybe it has sentimental attachment...in this book, it's 1992, so Dawn would have been born in 1979(ish). Aaaaand now I've officially given too much thought to a throwaway detail.
  
• Would a vegetarian eat caviar? That's what Watson and Elizabeth send to Richard and Sharon.
  
• Stacey wore a form-fitting purple dress. To a sleepover.
  
• Claudia thinks that Arthur Feingold has gorgeous hair. Mallory thinks that Ben Hobart has an adorable nose.
  
• Dawn doesn't have much to add to the conversation, because no boy has made her go crazy. Well, except for Travis. I think Dawn should start paying more attention to this whole 'change herself for a guy' pattern.
  
• At midnight, the BSC decides to call boys. Claudia calls the mysterious Arthur Feingold, Stacey calls Pete Black, Kristy calls Bart, and Mary Anne calls Logan. Dawn hangs out near the finger foods with Mallory and Jessi.
  
• Ugh. Dawn's resolution is to be more attractive to boys. It's almost as bad as Mary Anne, who resolves to be more outgoing so that Logan will be happier. Everyone else makes resolutions based on what they want, but these two frame it in this terrible way. I hate this book.
  
• Reading this now, it's almost like Norman Hill is doing something dirty in his room...and then it turns out to be eating cupcakes.
  
• If the parents really want Norman to lose weight, why do they have all of this junk food in the house? And why do they have to go to such an extreme, cooking with kale and okra? Why can't they just eat like, lettuce and vegetables and lean meats and stuff? This doesn't make sense.
  
• So not only does Dawn totally change her appearance, she also starts acting like a jerk and starts dumbening herself down. Double ugh.
  
• Ooooh. She's blowing bubbles during the BSC meeting...she's such a badass!
• None of the BSC members like her makeover (except Mary Anne). Big surprise! These girls hate everything that isn't part of the same old box they're all in.
  
• Dawn decides to dress like Avril Lavigne to pick up Lewis: she wears black ballet slippers, black lace capris, a short metallic silver skirt with crinoliny stuff, a stretchy tight, black and white striped top, six bangle bracelets, feather earrings, and hoop earrings.
  
• Mary Anne is totally acting like Dawn's pimp, getting her a makeover, telling her to be more talkative, giving her conversation tips.
  
• Oh my Lord. On their double date, they go see Gone with the Wind. Just like every ordinary 13-year old wants to go see. Nothing is more romantic than the Civil War.
  
• There's a big spoiler in here about GWTW, too. Strange.
• OMG! Dawn realizes, after a big fight with Mary Anne, that Lewis just likes her for who she is! Makeup and sweatpant-skirts are evil!
• BUT Dawn acts like this is all Mary Anne's fault, because Mary Anne didn't bow down before the altar of Dawn and say stuff like, "On no, Dawn, you're too gorgeous to change! You're special and magical and beautiful and you should never do anything differently." Barf.
  

Final thought: Something that is covered in cheese sauce doesn't really sound that healthy. Food can be made of vegetables and cheese and still not be healthy, DAWN.

#5: Dawn and the Impossible Three

Tagline: Dawn thought she'd be baby-sitting - not monster-sitting!


Cover: Yes, let's start with the cover. Suzi's yellow romper looks impossible cute. Marnie looks adorable. But otherwise, this is just a mess. Dawn looks like the human equivalent of a "waaahh-WONHHH" horn. And denim on denim does not scream California casual, but I'll give them a pass because it's so early in the series. And the shirt does seem like something Dawn would wear, with all its earthiness and everything. But aside from that, okay...I know that we're supposed to feel for her and everything, but what are the kids really doing? Making faces? Leaving a block on the floor? Playing quietly by themselves? Maybe Dawn could deal with it if she turned away from the camera, unfolded her arms, stood up straight, and gother act together. At least in the new cover the kids look a bit more...impossible. But I'm distracted by the lamp that's glowing super hard in the background. What an odd detail.

Plot!: In Dawn's first book narration of the series, we join her as she's adjusting to life in Stoneybrook and with the BSC. But she and Kristy are passively-aggressively fighting over Mary Anne. Her mom, who is dating Mary Anne's dad, is driving her crazy with all of the disorganization. And she's sitting for the Barretts - who she calls the impossible three! Luckily, she and Kristy patch things up while swinging in a hayloft, Dawn learns to live with her mom, and after a child abduction, Dawn confronts Mrs. Barrett about her parenting skills and all is okay. Until next time...


Continuity Fairy: Mrs. Barrett is pretty consistent to how she is later. It doesn't make sense to me that Stacey would be Mrs. Barrett's bridesmaid at her wedding to Franklin DeWitt, but I'm getting way ahead of myself. The ground for Dawn and Kristy's sometime animosity is pretty well laid, too. And Dawn has a lot of annoying pro-health food rants.


Points of Interest:

• The club is the most important thing in my life. I think we heard Stacey say this too, at some point. Maybe even Jessi, and probably even Mallory. This was why I could never really identify with the books, even though I loved them: I was never this dependent on other people. Not that I remember, anyway.
  
• Dawn calls Connecticut cold and sloppy. But she also says that California has one season (summer), so I'm not sure she's a reliable narrator.
  
• Okay. I was going to leave this until I got to a Mallory book (whenever that was), but since Dawn sits for the Pikes, I might as well bring it up now. WTF is up with the Pikes? At this point, they're all a year younger than the rest of the series - i.e. Mallory is ten. Okay. This book is published in 1987. So let's say:
  Mallory was born in 1977, the triplets 1978, Vanessa 1979, Nicky 1980, Margo 1981, and Claire 1983. The triplets and Mallory I understand, but who has FOUR KIDS under TWO and then has another kid? and then ANOTHER? AND ANOTHER? AND NOW WE'RE ONLY AT MARGO. By the time Claire is born, that's eight kids under six.
  
• Accoding to Dawn, Claudia is Japanese and beautiful.
  
• Ugh. Dawn's going on about her house and its old-ness. Boring.
  
• Aside from the whole "we're rich and he's poor" thing, why is Dawn's grandparents (Granny and Pop-Pop) richness never brought up? Like, do they ever take them on a big trip, or anything? Maybe in the later books or mysteries...weird stuff comes out in the mysteries. Random stuff.
  
• Suzi and Buddy are introduced...and Suzi has a skinned knee. What a monster!
• Mary Anne has contact lenses? That seems...unlikely. Is that a regularly mentioned detail? You would think she would sympathize with Mallory when she's going on about braces and glasses.
• Janine tells Dawn that "continue on" is redundant. I think of that pretty much think of that every time I hear someone way 'continue on.' Thanks, Ann M. Martin
• I find it kind of strange that the family member have to call and ask for a baby-sitter.
  
• Dawn sympathizes with the Barretts because their parents just got divorced and their mom is disorganized.
  
• Jeff suggest that they have 'all-natural frozen meatless pizza' for dinner. If that's what they always eat, why not just call it pizza?
  
• Dawn says that their house in California was bigger than their Connecticut house, and they have lots of extra stuff. Okay. Why cart this stuff cross-country if they don't have room? Also, I thought their house in California was one level. This is still bigger than a rambling old farmhouse? And wouldn't half of the stuff still be with their father? It just doesn't make sense.
  
• Dawn is 'deciding' whether or not she likes boys.
  
• Shillaber twins shoutout!
• Oh, my Lord. Dawn and Mary Anne - who get squeally when their parents are in the same room together - haven't even thought of the fact that if their parents got married, they'd be stepsisters. Like, hadn't even crossed their minds. Not realistic.
  
• "I turned and saw an absolutely gorgeous young woman rushing toward us. She looked like a model. Honest. She was wearing a silk blouse, a sleek linen suit, and gold jewelry - not too much, but enough so you noticed it. Her hair fell away from her face in chestnut curls and she smelled of a heavenly perfume." I think Dawn has a crush on Mrs. Barrett.
• I actually don't mind Karen that much. I think because I read the Little Sister books first and then the BSC books, so I was used to her. I have a harder time with the character of Kristy in the LS books, I think.
  
• Kristy says that Watson isn't a cook, so he wouldn't have fennel and corriander. Why do I think that Watson is a really good cook? Maybe after his heart attack, when he and Nannie butt heads.
  
• Dawn has a barn with hay but no animals. How long has that hay been there? Wouldn't it be like, moldy or something? It just seems unsafe.
  
• Dawn wears blue jean shorts and a white T-shirt that says GENIUS INSIDE. Of course.
  
• Heh. Mallory, who is usually quite well behaved, gave Byron the Bizzer Sign and he began to cry. This sentence is all awesome.
• Mallory steals Marnie's brownie, because Marnie is allergic to chocolate. Dawn speaks crossly at Mallory and accuses her of stealing a baby's brownie. Poor Mallory!
• Claudia's journal entry has spelling errors (shocking!) but is still readable. One thing I hate is how unbeliveably ridiculous Claudia's spelling becomes in the later books.
  
• Mrs. Barrett is thirty-three? How does Dawn know this? Did Mallory tell her? Strange.
  
• Dawn eats taffy?! But what about the sugar?
• Bradford Court and Watson's house are three and a half miles away. I'm not up on my miles, but that doesn't sound like a lot of distance...?
• Sometimes Kristy makes me laugh: "How would you say my grandfather looks?" I asked them. "Well, he looks very nice," replied Kristy. "This is the first time I've ever met him, of course, but I'd say he looks good, although his shirt doesn't exactly match his pants."
• Mr. Barrett shows up and abducts Buddy. It's kind of scary. Mystery #4, when Jake Kuhn goes missing, is also sort of scary.
  
• Jordan Pike bursts into tears when questioned by the police about Buddy's disappearance. Do all of the Pikes cry in this book?
• Also, Jordan takes piano lessons (what?) and Vanessa takes violin lessons. I'm pretty sure these aren't mentioned later on. Where are the Pikes getting this money?
  
• And then Dawn confronts Mrs. Barrett and tells her off. It's so Dawn-like.
  
• Foreshadowing! The club discusses Mallory as a future member. It's like it was all planned ahead of time!
  

Final Thought: If Dawn loves California so much, why doesn't she marry it?